by Mariel

Created on: January 29, 2009

I was born in a catholic family; baptized as any other normal Mexican child, as I grew up; I had my first communion and went to Sunday school. Everything my family did to provide me with the right religious education abided by the rules, regulations and requirements that the Christian Roman Catholic church asked from its flock.

Then, one day, my mother took me to see Lloyd Weber's Jesus Christ Superstar and a completely new world opened for me. I started to question values and information that was written in stone for all I cared, or I was told back then. Naturally, at age 7 back, waaaaayyyy back in 1976 no one would even care about what a child thought or did not think about church and the Auto de Fe.

Consequently, I grew with all of these doubts and even more. I did turn to priests and members of the clergy to answer my questions: Why was it that the church is so comfortable with Judas in the lowest part of hell if everything happens because God decides it to? From my humble point of view, Judas Iscariot should not only be a saint but also a martyr; no one I was told- could escape or turn away from the Power of God I am sure that you, reader had experienced such a Power at one time- then he had no choice but to do what he did. Therefore, why was he being punished until the end of time. It did not sound fair.

In 1979, a new Pope was elected and the church in Mexico changed forever. All of a sudden priests started to smile and younger men and women started to flock towards the clergy; these young men and women became a breath of fresh air inside the Church and people like me started to light a small flame of hope for their questions finally to be answered.

However, I was still too young to be considered as a valuable member of this new and revolutionized Christian Roman Catholic Church. I was left in the darkness for many years in which each time I approached a priest or even a nun I was shushed like a dog and told to be still and quiet. Ancient autos de Fe were not to be questioned and led alone by a laic woman!

Finally, in the late 80's still while under the reforming spirit of John Paul II I decided and took courage to write him a letter. A deep and profound letter where I detailed my ordeal in terms of bumping into the brick wall that close mindedness of the Latin American clergy meant for those who, like me, did not care for such bizarre and contradictive autos de Fe.

Amazingly enough, I did get an answer directly from the Vatican not longer than 2 months after

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