by Michael Patrick

Created on: January 29, 2009

Yes, it can, but a name only "identifies" the child; it does not "define" the child. All Michaels are not archangels and all Adolfs are not warmongers. It's a subjective question with examples that defy logic or statistics. When we name our children we try to do one of two things: create a distinctive name or follow family tradition. How the child adapts to his or her name is a property of individual character and poise.

A modern example is Barack Hussein Obama. In American culture, that name is foreign, though he is not. Had he been a less intelligent and positive personality, his name might have been a curse in the schools of middleclass, Midwestern America. As it turned out, by virtue of his character and the positive influence of his mother and grandparents, he became the 44th president of the United States.

Nevertheless, if a name is too distinctive (odd), the probability of derision may well decrease the child's likelihood of success. To avoid this, my parents named us Michael, David and Karen; widely accepted Christian names that were "safe." Still, while growing up, each of us received the occasional abuse by peers of our names. I remember being called "Mike the Kike" in middle school and had to ask my mother what it meant.

Can a name alone bring success? Does that mean financial wealth; spiritual influence; some sort of widespread recognition whether good or bad? A simple life can be more decent and fulfilling than that of the most wealthy and influential. In modern times we often give our children names that we, as parents, hope will enable our child to live up to the name's expectations or implied powers. This is a dodgy premise and an elusive hope. More often than not we try to give our children names that will ease their acceptance into their social stratum.

Our name can make a difference. It invokes a preconception in the minds of the people with whom we come in contact just as the way we dress for a job interview creates a first impression. Depending on the open-mindedness of others, how we overcome or support the implications of our name is up to us.

It's a gamble to give a child an odd name, one that invites derision or challenge. A "common" name bears no special requirement to overcome the name itself to gain social acceptance. In any given culture or social enclave, an odd name conveys "difference" whether our child's inherent nature is able to deal with it or not. A name can make a child feel outcast or special, unique or challenged, and only his or her character will settle the matter. The extent to which he or she is loved, supported and enhanced, or diminished and scathed by his or her parents and loved ones, makes more of a difference than a name.

In 2008, the media reported the case of parents who named their boy child Adolf Hitler (so and so) and pitted their choice against state officials who tried to deny their right to so name him. Regardless of the Constitutional right to free speech and the right of parents to name their children as they choose, the name has a strong negative significance in our current era. Who knows if little Adolf will be a reincarnation of the Austrian-born leader of the German Third Reich? We can be certain, however, that little Adolf will be taunted and jeered not for himself, but for his namesake. As the years pass, will he fare well or poorly? It depends, again, on his fundamental nature and his ability to resist disparagement and create a new understanding of the name. I would not want a child of mine to be so challenged.

In the end, it is our choices and our deeds that make us, regardless of our names, what we are and how we will be treated.

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