by Yusef Raahman Sudah

Created on: January 28, 2009   Last Updated: April 23, 2010

Countless times I have chosen to die and journey to Earth. And each time my journey has been filled with both joy and pain, but what am I to do but live? My only choice is to survive. I have done so only with the gracious help of others and by seeking understanding of life from a few. True knowledge on Earth is limited and difficult to find, if at all. The down side is that I need a body to witness life. My body requirements of me to breathe and eat.  Each of these attributes are gifts and each are dependent on a concert of activities just to give us all what is called time. I try to influence these and other attributes only to find my wisdom failing.

 I have learned after many disasters, trials and errors that what I believed to be un-workable is often effective and what I have believed would be effective is often only a belief. Each day as I sit in this veiled illusion called life, I, like others, witness both joy and suffering. But its OK, because tears ad laughter are what make life a lovely dynamic undertaken from start to finish. 

I  know the frequency of pain and joy are but gestures offering understanding for grander adventures that lie ahead.  Adventures not so much of filled with mystery but simply ones that are not knowable here on Earth. So I push against the tide of events hoping to succeed only to find my greatest "successes" are but failures. No matter what efforts I make or magic I perform, I know I cannot stay here forever; time here runs out.

I know walking on water, changing water to wine are all parlor tricks easy to perform. Yet with my best performance from the depths of my soul I cannot prevent human hatred. Let it be known to all that creating love on this planet is a trick easy to perform especially for those called infants. But I have some how "grown up" and lost many abilities I once had.

The duration of my stay on Earth is a mystery of uncertainty but not my arrival. I, like others, came to Earth with little or no knowledge, skills, training, or under-standing of what to expect. To know would be to make the adventure void of venture. Suffering this depravity, I press on and continue to seek to do my best. But all too often I find that my worst has shown its face.

I have learned at best that all I gain from "trial and error technology" is flawed. I continue to struggle to make my errors few. Yet more often than not such efforts are in vain. I love humanity and even at this I have frequently gauged poorly.

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