by Savannah White

Created on: January 28, 2009

A man and woman pass you, holding hands, seemingly happy in each other's company. You stare, wondering how those two ended up together. You wonder because the two people are from two different races. It is not odd. It is not illegal, but still, you wonder. Well, maybe you don't, but others do. Why? Is it really that strange to date someone who doesn't look like you?

There are pros and cons in every relationship, regardless of what the couple have or don't have in common. Dating someone outside your people group just presents a different or perhaps, additional set of pros and cons. So, let's take a look at them, beginning with the potential negative side of interracial dating.

Number one on the list of negatives has to be the rejection you may encounter from family or friends who are opposed to your relationship. Maybe they think people should not date outside their race. Maybe they have limited contact with or knowledge of people from the race you are now dating within, so they believe the stereotypes. They expect your partner to behave like people or characters they've seen on television or read about in the paper. Your family may want you to answer a lot of why questions. Why don't you date your own kind? Why do you have to date someone like that? Why would you do this to us? Yes, they may try to make your relationship choices about them.

Another negative is the reaction you will get from strangers. When you and your friend are out and about, there will be stares, whispers, maybe even rude comments. You can't control other people, but you can control your reaction to them. You don't know these people so their opinion should not matter. Don't let it.

One negative you may not consider, especially if you are early in your relationship, is children. What will it be like if you and your significant other become parents together? How will society see and treat your child? How will your family and friends treat them? Would you want to expose a child to that type of mistreatment?

Now, let's talk about some of the positives. First, you are to be commended for your bravery. That's right! You are quite courageous to go into something you know could result in negative words and actions from others who think you are making a mistake.

Another benefit is that interracial dating is making you grow as a person. You are able to look past the small things that separate you like skin color, hair texture, and eye color, and see the person for who they are, not what they look like. Bravo!

You are also experiencing the culture of another group you may have had limited exposure to in the past. This gives you an opportunity to learn new things, to better understand this race of people, and gain a better understanding of the world around you.

The last positive I will mention is the biggest. When you enter an interracial relationship and it's working, you have found someone you care for. That person makes you happy, you enjoy their company and life is good. Of course, you realize this has nothing to do with the other person's race. In the end, a person's race does not improve a relationship. It could create problems for people who don't understand, but if you find someone who makes you happy, should their skin color really matter?

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