by Melody Little

Created on: January 28, 2009

The things you expect can be the things that devistate you the most. Did I try to fall head over heels for him? At first every alcoholic you meet will try to cover it up, some may tell you, and as soon as you say yes to the all important question you find that this is not what you have signed up for. I had met my now ex boyfriend threw a friend and as soon as our eyes met it was automatic love. I realized the problem about a couple months after I moved in with him and then I knew that there was a problem when he would come in with more and more alcohol every day after work. I was trying to tell myself that everything was ok that the only reason he is drinking so much is because of stress at work. Please never make excuses for the person you are with just because you love them to death, face the reality of things and try to help as much as you can. I tried and tried to help him but you know as well as I do that you can not help someone that doesn't want to help themselfs. I am the type of person that thinks they can help anyone. I tried to just stick it out and kept telling myself everything is ok and it will get better as long as I stayed by his side. It is so hard to stay by someones side that is so self destructive, While I still love him I always stayed up at night crying because I never knew what was going to happen the next night, as we had gotten into the breaking up every other day and making up, I sat there wondering when or if it was going to become permanant . I sacraficed everything for this man why couldn't he see how much he waas hurting me? I started to doubt everything I kept wondering if it was me that was doing it, did I want to be with someone like that for the rest of my life? The answer of course was always yes.

Ladies and Gentalmen please take a serious look at your relationship and ask yourself if you want to keep letting them do what they are doing and try to act like nothing is ever wrong, and just cry at night after they have passed out from drinking all day. This is what hurt me so bad in the relationship, I wanted to be with him but in the same way I was always doubting that I wanted to be with him it was a constant fight with myself. Living and dating and alcoholic is almost unbearable, not only have I dated and alcholic most of my family are alcholics. I was seeing the one person I loves with all my heart and soul getting sicker than a dog because he drank to much, I was seeing the love of my life sleeping so peacefully and hoping that that night would be a sober night. I watched him sleeping alot and he would throw his arm around me and wake up just enough to say I love you before passing out again, but when I looked over all I could see was the love of my life at peace and for once not shoving alcohol down his thrat trying to drown the pain and guilt of life away. I hope you will stand up like I did, I finally said no more to him playing games with my heart and about 2 days later he emails me the longest email I seen saying thank you and he was going to try to stop drinking so he can get me back. There is alot more I could talk about because of dating an alcoholic and knowing what happens and also whats going threw your head as you see your world going under bit by bit. I hope this helps someone.

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