by Thom W. Conroy

Created on: January 28, 2009

We've all had the experience where an individual walks into the room and instantly it seems as though gloom and despair came with them. Conversation stops flowing, laughter subsides, and you feel as though all of your energies have been drained by by some mysterious force. If this is the impact a toxic person can have upon complete strangers, imagine the havoc they can reap on the people they have daily contact with.

A toxic relationship is much more distressing, in that you may not be able to rid your life of the perpetrator as quickly as you would like. In a work situation you don't have much choice in the people you associate with - you are forced by circumstances to interact with the "walking dead". You can attempt to avoid toxic people, deflect their attention to some other unsuspecting sacrificial lamb, or try any of a hundred other measures to keep them at a comfortable distance. In the end the truth remains - toxic people are a disease, a plague set loose upon society with the intent to destroy all that is good and decent. The only way to end a toxic relationship is to remove that individual from your life as quickly as you can, and cut all ties forever.

While this may sound a bit harsh and unkind, the sad reality is that toxic people seem to be born to the affliction. It's not that they won't change their destructive ways, they can't - its who and what they are at the center of their being. Toxic beings are the viral infection of the spirit, injecting turmoil and disharmony wherever they go, and to whomever they come into contact with. There is no remedial action that can be taken to repair a toxic relationship, and to believe there is a remedy is foolish. Think of it in analogy - you have a cancer in your life, you don't attempt to work with it, you have it removed before it grows and kills you.

Bringing a close to a toxic relationship should be swift and complete, but need not be angry or mean spirited. Toxic individuals have an enormous ability to hold grudges and start vendettas when they feel they are wronged, and they rarely see their behavior as being the motivating factor in a relationship's demise. They tend to always see their position as the correct and noble stance, and are quite capable of leaping well beyond the boundaries of moral, and even legal recourse in "getting even". To put it bluntly, most toxic people are unstable mentally and emotionally, and ending a toxic relationship should be done thoroughly, but with "kid gloves" when possible to avoid an escalation of disruptive episodes.

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