by Marcy Volbert

Created on: January 28, 2009

Becoming a step parent is not always an easy choice but when you fall in love with someone and they have a child you have to be willing to be a step parent or you need to walk away.

If you would have asked me four years ago, "would you ever date a guy who has a child?" My answer would have been no. I was in my mid 20's and loved the single life. I was focused on my career; I went to the bars on the weekend with my friends and hung out at the coffee shop during the week. I loved my life and was in no hurry to be a mom. So when my husband and I first started talking I was not sure about meeting him due to the fact he had a child.

We met on a dating website and talked for a long time before he asked me out. The first time he asked me out he asked if I would like to go to the zoo with him and his son. I panicked and told him I could not go. Months and months passed and he was very persistent on meeting me. Finally I gave in and just he and I met for coffee.

The first time I met my husband he told me that if we were to get into a relationship it "would be a package deal" with him and his son. I don't have any children although I have nieces and nephews. I explained to him that I never dated anyone with a child and I didn't know how to act around him. He told me when I meet his son not to treat him any differently then I would my nephew.

Meeting my (now) stepson for the first time was very strange, even though my (now) husband and I had talked about it, I still felt like I needed to walk on egg shells and watch what I do and say to make a good impression on this child. As time passed my stepson began talking to me more and treating me like I belonged, in what I felt was a club, in which only he and his dad were members. My husband, boyfriend at the time, and I became serious and began the long conversations about marriage, me becoming a stepmother and his son.

The moment that I realized that my stepson and I bonded was one July afternoon. All three of us had gone to a theme park and we were heading to car after a long day. My stepson was 8 at the time and when we began to cross the parking lot he reached up and grabbed my hand. I could have never imagined that something so small could mean so much. It made me realize that I was someone he trusted and the feeling I got from that moment will be hard to experience again.

After a few years we got engaged. Well before my husband asked me to marry him he asked his son if it was ok. He told his dad that he liked having me around and would not care if we got married. Again we talked about the fact that I would now be his stepmother and I explained to my husband that I was more then willing to become a step-parent. But being a step-parent is not always easy, when it comes to discipline I voice my opinion to my husband but in the end it will be his choice on the action taken.

I love my stepson as if he was my biological child; the only difference is that I physically didn't give birth to him. We talk, spend time together and even play video games together. I would be lost if anything happened to him.

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