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Why we make bad choices in life

by Brian Peters

Created on: January 28, 2009

We've all done it. Faced with a situation that requires a choice - we know the right choice - but we make the wrong choice. Even when we've made that same wrong choice many times before, and it has never turned out well. Why?

I think the answer requires an understanding of the culture in which we live and basic human nature.

Here's a simple self-test. When faced with a situation that requires you to choose between competing courses of action, do you respond emotionally (what "feels" like the right choice) or intellectually (I "think" this is the right choice).

I would suggest that we live in a culture that has taught us to respond emotionally. Think about it. The mantra of our time is, "If it feels good, do it." In the age of bumper sticker philosophy we have all been affected, whether we realize it or not, by sayings like this. Even those of us who think ourselves to be "intellectuals" likely respond out of our emotions more often than we are willing to admit.

That's the cultural aspect of the answer that we need to understand. But we also need to understand something about basic human nature. And it really boils down to that age old question that will be debated for as long as man lives on this earth - are people basically good or basically evil? If we typically respond out of our emotions, then we have to ask ourselves if this leads to the right conclusion. And that requires determining whether our emotions generally lead us in the right direction or the wrong direction.

The Christian Bible has an all-encompassing term for the emotional side of our existence - the heart. And it concludes that the heart is "desperately wicked above all else." None of us want to admit that. Most of us like to think of ourselves as a "good person." And therefore, we want to believe that people are generally good.

But consider this. Do you have to teach children to be selfish? Do you have to teach children to be mean to their brother or sister? Of course not. Unfortunately, they do that naturally. You have to teach them to be unselfish. You have to teach them to be kind. You have to teach them to be good. Whether we like or not, careful observation of the world around us demonstrates that the heart is, by nature, evil. We have to train it to be good.

Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying that every person in the world is evil. Clearly there are good people all around us. My point is simply that our "natural" inclination is bad. Which means that our "emotional" reaction to most situations is going to be wrong. Those people whom you consider to be "good" have simply learned to reject their emotional response in any given situation and chosen instead to think correctly and therefore respond correctly.

There's a great line in the current movie Fireproof that goes something like this - "You can't follow your heart. You have to lead it." I believe this line provides the primary distinction between making a wrong choice and making a right choice. If you're following your heart, as society teaches us, you're more likely to make a wrong choice. But if you choose instead to lead your heart, to reject the initial emotional response and try to think correctly about the situation, you are much more likely to make the right choice.

Learn more about this author, Brian Peters.
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