by Brian Peters

Created on: January 28, 2009

If only becoming a better person were the result of simple desire, our world would probably be a much better place, because who doesn't want to be a better person? But our experience tells us that desire alone is not enough to make it happen.

Desire is certainly a good place to begin, however. Because, in a sense, if you don't want it bad enough you'll never get to a point of doing anything about it. Maybe a better way to identify this starting point is with the term, intentionality. In other words, the process of becoming a better person begins with being intentional in identifying the area or areas in your life where you would like to see change.

So begin by taking some time to identify the specific areas of your life in which you would like to see change. If you're brave enough, seek the input of your spouse or a friend. Ask them, "if there were one thing you could change in me, what would it be." Be prepared for the answer, however, because it may not be pleasant! But it can be extremely helpful to solicit input from others.

Having identified an area in your life in which you would like to see change, the next step is to get a vision in your mind of what change looks like in this area of your life. To put it more simply - what's the end result you're looking for? Write down, in a few words or a brief sentence, the desired outcome of change, the final product, so to speak, in this area of your life.

If you've followed along to this point, you've now identified an area of your life to change, and you have a goal in mind (and written down for easy reference). Congratulations! You're further along than the majority of people who say they want to be a better person. Becoming intentional about what needs to change, and having a vision for what the change looks like, is a huge first step in becoming a better person.

But it is only a first step. The issue now becomes getting from where you are to where you want to be. What's required at this point is an understanding of human nature. It begins with this basic question - what can you control in your life? Can you control your emotions? Can you control your actions? Some people, answering these questions positively, seek to change by "following the heart" (controlling emotions) or by "working hard" (controlling actions), only to discover that lasting change simply never happens through these methods.

Why? Because the reality of the human experience is that the only thing we have control over in our lives is our thoughts.

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