by Mopes

Created on: January 28, 2009

This is a loaded question because it's clearly being asked from the point of view of the lonely nice guy. The same question could be asked "why are women attracted to dominant personalities, and want to remain friends with the submissive? I think it's clear where I'm going with this..

What the real issue is that the average "nice guy" is usually socially awkward; an awkwardness that usually stems from emotional immaturity. For that nice guy, calling themselves a "lonely nice guy" is sugarcoating the truth. It's a self preservation mechanism. If you are that "lonely nice guy," you need to take a step back and consider: is it all women, or me?

It's not that the girl wants someone who will treat her poorly. No one wakes up in the morning deciding they need to enter a relationship that will do nothing more than damage their self esteem. The majority of the time she's impressed by the security that comes with having somebody who displays traits showing that they will be able to protect her. If you can make a girl feel secure, then you're half way there.

But if it was this simple, why would this be such an ongoing issue? This question has been asked for generations, so there must be some merit to it, right?

The real issue is that to a submissive, anyone with a dominant personality will seem like a jerk. And as the "just friends" guy, the lonely nice guy is guaranteed to be the recipient of the complaints that any woman will have in a relationship. If he doesn't call her when he said he would, then the lonely nice guy of course gets to hear about it. Same goes for if he didn't want to come over when she asked. (Strange torture for the "nice guy," isn't it?)

And then the vicious cycle just goes deeper. The same lonely nice guy just knows in his heart that he wouldn't do that to her. Leading directly into the question of "why are women attracted to jerks" being raised.

As this response is generally attributed to youth and young adults, the question must be raised: why don't you hear this concern as commonly among adults? It simply doesn't make sense to say the change occurs because all women have matured. The change comes from the emotional maturity of the lonely nice guys of the world developing to the point that they are able to take a stand, and consider how the weakness in his own personality is sabotaging his efforts with women.

Trust me, I know.

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