by Joyce M. George-Knight

Created on: January 27, 2009

Grandparenting 101: Simple Guidelines. You are the bearer of unconditional love. Now that you are a Grandparent, you have completed your job as parent. It is time to observe the fruits of your sleepless nights, endless meal preparations, nursing illnesses, functioning as taxi driver for neighborhood children, party holder and guidance counselor. Your children now wear your old shoes. You get to wear new ones to play with your grandchildren. Your guidelines are very simple. Love your grandchildren and love their parents.

As you think back, you recall your parent telling you that something you were doing was not being done the right way. You were told the 'right way.' Worse yet, you were expected to make your correction. Wrong. That's not the role of a Grandparent. You need to believe that you did the very best job you knew how to do while raising your children. Equally as important is to believe that your children's spouses were raised by parents who did the same. Sit back and watch, but the most important rule is do not criticize.

When your children or their respective spouses want your opinion, they will ask you. Believe it or not, they are much more apt to request such advice, when you never freely offer it. There's an unspoken respect between adult children and Grandparents, who do not criticize or make suggestions.

So the house you are visiting is in disarray and the dishes are piled in the kitchen sink. You are there to visit, praise, cuddle and love every member of the household. There's nothing wrong with asking, "May I be of assistance in any way?" Then, if a housekeeping task is offered, you may accept. Remember. You may believe the house is messy, but it may be their way of being comfortable. 'To each his own,' as we were raised hearing the saying often.

Grandchildren have enough rules, criticism, lectures, etc. Isn't it much more fun to be the 'good guy,' To be the comforter, storyteller, spoiler (taking them to get ice cream and candy and letting them stay up late), is such a treat for every Grandparent. We get to tell them stories about when their parent was a child. Perhaps it's best not to tell the stories that required consequences or punishment.

We have gained wisdom and knowledge over the years that could fill volumes. Little lessons and bits of wisdom would benefit grandchildren and their parents, if presented in a story kind of way. No pointing fingers or lecturing, since that's not the Grandparent thing to do. Leave that to the other adults.

Grandparenting is an honor and it took many years to attain that status. As you've read, the Simple Guidelines are extremely easy to remember. Look, Listen and Love. There. You've passed the class. Happy Grandparenting.

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