by Kellie Webster

Created on: January 27, 2009   Last Updated: October 28, 2010

Life is busy, as adults we all have responsibilities that we must fulfill. There is always something or someone who is demanding our time and attention. Sometimes free time is a rare commodity, we have to work to live, eat to stay healthy and sleep to catch up. Add to that a couple of children and you've doubled your responsibilities. Find yourself suddenly living life as a single parent and out the door goes any free time you once may have had. This is especially true in the evenings at the end of a long day at work. It would be so nice to come home relax for ten minutes whilst browsing through the mail with a cold or hot drink and do nothing. What a dream thought. It is usually in the evenings when your children have been missing you all day that their excitement and patience reaches a peak.

"Look at this Mum," my nine year old would demand.

"Can we read a book?" master six asks with earnest.

"I can't find my legos," he'd follow a minute later.

"I'm hungry can I have some chips?" Miss 9 would request walked into the pantry.

The last thing I want to do is search for Lego blocks or read a book. I just want to have a moment to myself before I have to start the evening meal.
But my children don't understand that.
Their priorities are focusing on much more exciting things. Plus doesn't dinner magically appear at 6pm? Surely Mum is here for the sole purpose of making me happy! I start to answer their demands, about to reply to one question when another is fired my way. Suddenly I am overwhelmed with the activities of the day and the barrage of attention coming my way. I'm tired, I'm hot and bothered, I have dinner to cook, I feel my temperature rising, I feel my patience evaporating. I am about to lose my temper, I feel the anger surfacing.

"STOP!" I suddenly explode.

There has to be a better way, and there is. As a single parent the above scenario is a common event. My children love me, so they want my attention. I love them so I want to give it to them, but sometimes something has to wait. I had to put measures in place to avoid displaying my anger and my frustration at them.

The first thing I did was organised a routine for the three of us when we got home. This started with 10 minutes of quiet. When we walked in the door it was their job to put their school bags and various other items away in their room. I gave them some responsibility to distract them, and also teach them how to give me a moment of rest, without the need to get angry or yell.

I explained that

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