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I think it is absolutely wrong that a parent would deprive a child and a grandparent the love and bond that is created between them just because a grandparent or great-grandparent just because they have Alzheimer's or Dementia. My grandmother had Alzheimer's and Dementia before she passed away, I would not have dreamed of keeping her and my son apart because of her illness. The very first time that she held Dustin there was an instant bond between them. She had, had a mini stroke a few years before he was born and she couldn't hold the babies for long because her left arm would get tired fast. The very first time she held Dustin they just stared in to each other's eyes for so long that I finally asked her if her arm was getting tired so I could take him if it was and she said no. While they were staring into each other's eyes something powerful was happening between them and it was such a powerful and strong love that you could feel it pass between them. It was the most precious thing I had ever seen.

About three years later she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and Dementia. Even in the beginning I never considered keeping them apart when she would get worse. That bond between them was so strong that even when she did get worse she knew her little Dustman. She didn't know me hardly but she knew him and I was told toward the end that I shouldn't bring him around her because he was disruptive and that broke my heart. I knew that if I did that it would be the biggest mistake I could make. That little boy didn't care that she couldn't do for herself anymore, as a matter of fact he helped her more than anyone can realize. She lived in the same building as my mother, her daughter and when Dustin and I would go see mom, he would have to go see his great-grandma. How do you tell a child they can't see someone they love because they are sick? I couldn't and wouldn't. Some would say that is selfish on my part but I didn't see it that way. I was giving my grandmother and my son as much time together as possible.

The only way to truly understand the bond between them was if you were there watching it form. But the fact is no matter what the circumstances are you do not keep your child away from a grandparent or great-grandparent because they are sick. That is the bottom line. If I had kept Dustin away from his great-grandma before she died I honestly don't think he would forgive me. He may be just a child but he loved her no matter what and there was no way I was going to stop taking him to see her.

It will be a year since her death January 28, 2009 and he still talks about her and misses her. He remembers their bond that Alzheimer's, Dementia, and Death can not break. How do you take something like that away from people that you love. My grandma in her lucid states would say hi and then where's Dustin. Towards then end it broke my heart that she didn't know because I was named after her, but knowing that she knew Dustin and wanted to see him made it worth it. I miss her as much as he does but they still have their bond between them and that is what matters. I won't say it wasn't scary for him at times but he never wanted to leave for fear of her.

If I had kept them apart, not only would Dustin not forgive me, but I wouldn't forgive myself of robbing them of that time they had together. So yes, if you truly love your children and parents or grandparents, then let them see each other Alzheimer's or not. You could be giving them a gift of a lifetime.

Learn more about this author, Rosemary Recore.
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