by Amreen Bi

Created on: January 27, 2009   Last Updated: November 02, 2010

Your first child leaving home and starting a new life can be a wonderful and exciting time for you and your child. Not only should you congratulate your child for their new life but yourself too. You have done a wonderful job raising and guiding your child so far. But now they have left, what do you do?

The goal of any parent is to equip their child with appropriate skills to live an independent, happy life. Despite the fact that they are happy for their child, many parents still suffer from the “empty nest syndrome.”

You can have a number of different emotions when the time comes for you’re first born to leave. To help you cope when this does happen, here are some tips:

GRIEVE:

While many will advice you not to grieve, it is good for you. It is good for you to find things to do but the emptiness some parents feel will not go away by ignoring those feelings. In the long term it is better for you to deal with your feelings.

On the other hand, what you do not want to do is to sit and be upset 24 hours, seven days a week. You need to strike a balance, your child is gone and you miss them terribly but at the same time they are happy and living their life, just as you should live yours.

SET YOURSELF CHALLENGES:

When your eldest child leaves you have 2 choices. You can live life how you have always lived it or make some changes. What other things would you like to do? Take a cooking course, read more, relax or go traveling? There are many different challenges you can set yourself.

DON’T PESTER YOUR CHILD:

There are many effect ways to stay in touch with your child: texting, emailing, video chat, phone or cell phones. Just because there are so many methods of staying in touch doesn’t mean you have to contact your child every 2 seconds. Give them space and time to adapt. Things will be weird for them too.

By messaging them too often you can actually drive your child away. It can seem like you are nagging them and that you lack confidence in their ability to live independently.

TALK:

The likelihood is that your first child knows you will be missing them. Do tell them how you feel. They will miss you too. Children do know their parents love and miss them; you don’t want to tell them though every time they ring. You might make them feel guilty and remorseful for leaving you.

GET IN THE KNOW:

As a person you should be interesting and fun to talk to. Sitting around, moping and being miserable are not attractive traits in anyone. If you

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