by Marlin Bressi

Created on: January 27, 2009

The 1980's are notoriously famous for horrendous clothing trends; however, when it comes to footwear, the past two decades manage to outshine any other era. Here is a brief history of the worst shoe trends in modern culture.

1. Uggs. Just because something is trendy, doesn't mean that it is stylish. Remember mullets, legwarmers, and shoulder pads? They were all trendy too at one time. The plain truth is that Uggs look ridiculous, and fifteen years from now when your children discover your beloved Uggs tucked away in the attic, they will look at you and laugh. I don't care how comfortable they are, either. I feel quite comfortable beneath a down comforter, but I would never make it into a garment to wear out in public.

2. Crocs. It is hard to take someone seriously when they are wearing shoes made out of foam. Aside from their unsightly appearance, Crocs also belong on this list because of their proliferation in all walks of American life. When you see a 60-year old woman shopping at Wal-Mart wearing the same pair of shoes as you have on, it just might be time to reconsider switching to a new style of footwear.

3. Sandals. There is a time and place to wear sandals. Unfortunately, the time is 200BC and the place is ancient Egypt. Those who wear sandals in public show a blatant disregard for others. After all, who wants to check out your bunions while they're eating dinner at Appleby's? Get with the times, Moses. Footwear has evolved over the past few thousand years, so why stick to a style that is pure Stone Age?

4. Heelys. The marketing genius behind these shoes with built-in wheels obviously has a bitter hatred towards those poor unfortunate souls who work in floor care. Heelys were patented in 2000, and janitors and floor buffers have been on the brink of suicide ever since.

5. Timberland boots. My guess is that 90% of those who wear Timberlands have never set foot in a forest. Those who wear Timberlands are probably alot like those people who own Hummers, yet refuse to drive on any unpaved roads for fear of getting their Hummer dirty. Only in America can a "gangsta" rapper from the Bronx wear the same footwear as a lumberjack in Oregon.

As you can see, modern shoe fads reveal a disturbing trend in America; that being comfortable is more important than looking like an idiot. This is why today you see people wearing pajamas to the mall. Somewhere in a cemetery in Europe, Coco Chanel is surely spinning in her grave.

Learn more about this author, Marlin Bressi.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.