by Justin Mccauley

Created on: January 27, 2009   Last Updated: February 11, 2009

For Kylie

You cannot define love for it is an emotion that bears no understanding. It is a feeling that leaves us bereft of our senses. That envelopes us in the flutter of youth and the embrace of a magical spell. To define it is to mock it, to dishonour it. You cannot begin to understand why her smile fills your heart. Why her kisses taste sweeter than the most exotic fruit. Why her tumbling tresses fill you with awe. Why her knowing look will take your breath away. Love comes in many forms but the realisation that you have that true, blinding, unconditional love between two adults can be the defining moment of our lives. To love someone more than oneself is what supersedes our own mortality. To love someone in spite of our selfishness gives us the freedom to be truly human.

I know when she touches me I feel wanted, needed, cherished. I know that when I look at her, I feel something more than lust. I feel her. I feel her heart hammering out my name. I see her eyes wash me with her gaze. Her body fits so snugly into mine. It is something that cannot be understood, just accepted. A million women could call my name and only she says it right. She creeps into my dreams and makes me smile. She has made my world better in ways that I can only understand. Not because she loves me but because I love her.

I feel as if I am in a dream. Away from the things that cause me pain. Away from the world of hateful words and spiteful taunts. In our world we are safe from harm. Away from the world that can inflict sadness. She makes it better. Better than I thought it could ever be. And all she has to do is look at me. She doesn't have to tell me she wants me, loves me or even needs me. She just has to look. In that one look she says it all and I know. I know without knowing it because it emanates from her and all that I have ever desired is in that look.

She has that eternal smile that shines like a force of nature. There will never be another like her and for that I am blessed. I cannot define it. I don't want to define it. For defining it explains it and it loses its mystery. It loses that certain thing that makes it special. Life doesn't have a meaning and neither does love and they are both inextricasbly entwined. Like a twisted vine thay become the life-force behind the flower and from that grows the fruit of their endeavours. To love completely is a prize that few will ever receive because we are too selfish to allow it. I have become selfless because I choose to love. It has made me a better man.

Define it? I choose not to because I don't want to lose it. I just want to love her like a woman should be loved and that is more important than any jewel, any bauble, any huge show of largess. If love makes you happy then I am dripping in that emotion and I couldn't ask for any anything else because she has already given it. She has made me happy and that needs no other explanation.

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