by Bonnie Koppell

Created on: January 27, 2009

There has been precious little good news reported in the world over the past year, since we gathered here a year ago to look without and within. But there was one story which gave me great solace in my ongoing faith journey. News reports revealed that Mother Teresa of Calcutta had written in her diary in 1959, "In my soul I feel just that terrible pain of loss, of God not wanting me- of God not being God- of God not existing."

How tremendously comforting! If Mother Teresa had moments of doubt, then, I conclude, there is hope for each of us. We are, after all, the people of Israel- Yisrael- the ones who struggle with God. And for many of us, faith in God, understanding God, is complex and elusive. The Torah elevates questioning God to the level of mythic heroism, as depicted in Abraham's remarkable khutzpa, challenging the Judge of all the world to uphold justice. The actions of the very first Jew lay the foundation for our permission to question and challenge the Holy One. "Holy dissent", writes Rabbi Harold Schulweis, "is a unique Judaic feature."
On this most awesome of nights, when we approach God with the deepest sense of humility, I invite you to join me in reflecting on the many ways that our people have sought to know God. We are blessed that our tradition allows us the freedom to form our own perspective on the nature of the Holy One. Our community includes mystics who strive for union with God, and philosophers who maintain that we can neither describe nor comprehend God's essence. When asked- why do we repeat the refrain- God of Abraham, God of Sarah, God of Isaac, God of Rebecca- the rabbis remind us that each individual has their own concept of God- the God of Abraham is different than the God of Sarah. And I'm certain that even in each of our own lives, our understanding of God changes in response to our life experience. Just as the Inuit people discern and name various forms of snow, I sometimes think that we as a people are aware of many aspects of the Divine. We have 70 different names for the Holy One- HaMakom, the place; Av HaRakhamim- the merciful parent; Adonai Roi, my shepherd; Eyn Sof, the One without end; Tzuri v'Goali- my rock and my redeemer. Is one of these names more real, more true, more accurate than another? Of course not. With each name we focus on one way in which we have felt God's presence with us.
"A Jew," writes Elie Wiesel, "can love God, a Jew can fight God, but a Jew may not ignore God." Rabbi Aaron Zeitlin expresses this

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