by Harry Tournemille

Created on: January 23, 2007   Last Updated: May 09, 2007

While I certainly agree with some of the choices made here already, my list goes in a different direction. I'm surprised how easy it is to create a Top Five Worst Films list; it's easier than creating a Top Five Best Films list in many regards. Of course, this is largely due to the sheer volume of tripe that is put out by Hollywood. Time and time again, I shake my head when I see a new trailer for some completely nonsensical piece of soft-headed escapism. So, while my list is based on the films I have seen, there are likely a multitude of equally horrendous movies out there, just begging for someone else to put on their list. Here goes...

1) Titanic: I do not care how much money this film made, or how impressive the special effects were. This is a mediocre, nauseating story that insults the intelligence with wooden, silly acting and some of the worst dialogue I have ever heard. I can only assume that people who liked this abhorrent lump of "movie-love" were likely manipulated by the sweeping music and passionate close-ups of teary eyed actresses. I almost thought I was watching an Oprah episode with all the close-ups. Half-expected Ms. Winfrey to appear herself and claim that she was God. Horrible film.

2) Battlefield Earth: Okay, at least Titanic had some effects. This film was void of anything positive. Travolta revealed that he is a rotten actor unless under the careful eye of a proficient director (a-la Tarantino in Pulp Fiction). I don't even need to expand further on how bad this movie is. Just look at the cover in the movie store. Lousy sets, acting, sound... and no story whatsoever. Should be buried in a deep hole somewhere, along with any footage of Tom Cruise.

3) RV: No idea if this movie came before or after Robin Williams' latest foray into the world of rehab, but it should have been number one on his twelve steps to recovery. This movie absolutely stunk, and not just due to the lame jokes about the motor-home's septic malfunctions. No humor here at all. Just tired looking actors who probably got paid more than they should have for creating yet another formulaic comedy with punch lines seen from a mile away. Insulting.

4) Flicka: There are plenty of somewhat enjoyable films out there about horses and the people who love them. This is not one of those movies. If you see this film on a video stand, run in the opposite direction screaming. Melodramatic and obvious, this film forces its story on the viewer with such heavy-handedness that I wanted to throw a tantrum. None of the character's actions were explained or justified. Wretched.

5) I really could pick any Adam Sandler movie, except for Punch Drunk Love which had some lovely, human moments. But, I will pick the worst Adam Sandler film I can think of: Little Nicky. How on God's green earth did this film even get approved to be made? Moreover, how did Harvey Keitel get roped into being a character? Utter garbage, this movie. Humorless, dumb and ultimately yet another poor reflection on an already plummeting mechanism: Hollywood.

I could add more, but these are my five... for now.

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