Toxic relationships come in many forms and physical violence is just one of those. There are many relationships that involve extreme levels of emotional abuse and this emotional tramau can take years to recover from. If you are told something often enough then unfortunately, you begin to believe it, and this is exactly what occurs within toxic relationships. When you are repeatedly fed negative opinions about yourself it has a definite and long lasting affect on your self esteem that can last for years afterwards.
Hearing that you are fat, you are ugly, you are lazy, you are stupid, you are useless or any other negative trait attributed to yourself on a regular basis is harmful to your mental health. This emotional abuse is a form of brain washing and it poisons you. You begin to believe what you are being told. The longer that you are in the toxic relationship than the more hazardous to your mental health that this abuse becomes, you need to escape, and to recover! Don't ever believe that emotional insults are not abuse, because they are, and it takes time to recover from their toxic effect.
So how do you recover from a toxic relationship? You apply the exact opposite principles of the abuse. You brainwash yourself with positive comments and surround yourself with positive people. You teach yourself to be a happy, assertive, and positive individual. You, in effect, remove the toxic elements that have been instilled in you.
It is hard to recover from abuse, it takes time, and a lot of work on your part. The first step is training yourself not to believe any negative comments that you are still hearing. You must trust in yourself! You must believe in yourself! Whenever you hear negativity from others, remove it from your head, stand up for yourself. Just say a simple No! No, I am not wrong. I am right. I don't have to feel guilty. I am a good person! I am strong! Begin to distance yourself from these negative people, and when you are near them, do not let their negativity affect you. Believe in yourself! Trust in yourself!
Tell yourself that you are a good person, that you are beautiful, that you are kind, that you are considerate, and that you are strong. Stand in front of a mirror, tell yourself that you are attractive, and compliment yourself till you believe it. If you find this difficult at first, then use humor, it will help you feel more comfortable with complimenting yourself. "You look marvelousssssssssssss!". "You are definitely one fine looking critter!" "Gosh, where did you get those eyes, they are hot, hot hot!" Use a song to help you out, "I'm too sexy for my clothes, too sexy for my clothes!", just work at getting those positive messages through to you! The more often that you hear them the better! Brainwash yourself!
Allow yourself to relapse a little, you are human, and this happens. Don't beat yourself up if you regress a little or happen to screw up out there. Just remember to get right back on the wagon again and try all the harder to have a positive attitude. It is often very difficult to change behavior patterns, ask anyone who has ever tried to quit smoking, it's hard! It takes a lot of work, and a lot of practice, but like all things in life practice makes perfect. Just keep working on it, and you will succeed, you will effectively remove the toxic effects of that past relationship from your heart and mind. The more that you succeed out there, then the more that you will truly begin to believe in yourself, the more positive that you will become. Until you are assertive enough to remove all the negative elements from your life, don't believe them, believe in yourself!
Take an assertive training program. There is nothing more helpful in gaining a positive attitude than understanding your personal rights. Assertive training information can be found online or at your local library. It isn't a lengthy program, nor is it difficult to understand, but it is invaluable. Get the information and read it! The simple but effective teachings of an Assertiveness Training Program will remain with you for the remainder of your life. Assertiveness training is one of the most valuable information tools to help you become a strong, and positive person, take advantage of these teachings. Just type, "assertiveness training" into the Google search bar, it is that easy.,
Often times individuals will come out of one abusive relationship, and go straight into another, don't let this happen to you! If you keep in mind the above teachings, then it won't, you can escape the cycle of toxic relationships. Just refuse to believe that you belong there, be strong, and walk away. You are better than that! You are a good person and you do not deserve to be there! You have only to convince yourself of that fact to make it a reality.
I know because I was there.