by Lorelei Cohen

Created on: January 26, 2009   Last Updated: April 25, 2009

Toxic relationships come in many forms and physical violence is just one of those. There are many relationships that involve extreme levels of emotional abuse and this emotional tramau can take years to recover from. If you are told something often enough then unfortunately, you begin to believe it, and this is exactly what occurs within toxic relationships. When you are repeatedly fed negative opinions about yourself it has a definite and long lasting affect on your self esteem that can last for years afterwards.

Hearing that you are fat, you are ugly, you are lazy, you are stupid, you are useless or any other negative trait attributed to yourself on a regular basis is harmful to your mental health. This emotional abuse is a form of brain washing and it poisons you. You begin to believe what you are being told. The longer that you are in the toxic relationship than the more hazardous to your mental health that this abuse becomes, you need to escape, and to recover! Don't ever believe that emotional insults are not abuse, because they are, and it takes time to recover from their toxic effect.

So how do you recover from a toxic relationship? You apply the exact opposite principles of the abuse. You brainwash yourself with positive comments and surround yourself with positive people. You teach yourself to be a happy, assertive, and positive individual. You, in effect, remove the toxic elements that have been instilled in you.

It is hard to recover from abuse, it takes time, and a lot of work on your part. The first step is training yourself not to believe any negative comments that you are still hearing. You must trust in yourself! You must believe in yourself! Whenever you hear negativity from others, remove it from your head, stand up for yourself. Just say a simple No! No, I am not wrong. I am right. I don't have to feel guilty. I am a good person! I am strong! Begin to distance yourself from these negative people, and when you are near them, do not let their negativity affect you. Believe in yourself! Trust in yourself!

Tell yourself that you are a good person, that you are beautiful, that you are kind, that you are considerate, and that you are strong. Stand in front of a mirror, tell yourself that you are attractive, and compliment yourself till you believe it. If you find this difficult at first, then use humor, it will help you feel more comfortable with complimenting yourself. "You look marvelousssssssssssss!". "You are definitely one fine looking critter!"

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