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You know that you've lost love when life seems a little less bright, when you wake up a little less happy than when you were with them. We all kick our selves when we realize what we have lost; we go over in our minds everything we could have done to change the ending of this near perfect fairy tale.

I think when we lose love we start to look at our selves in a different light, see flaws that didn't seem to be there before but we also see flaws in the ones we have lost in a way to try and compensate for that warmth and good feeling that they gave us. Someone once wrote "You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it", how right they were.

I think when we find love we are not just blinded to our partners imperfections but also our own and fail to appreciate how fragile that love is, maybe it is because we are shocked so much at the fact that we have found love I mean there are some people who search for love their entire lives and never find it. Which I guess could beg the question should losing it hurt even more?

We all make mistakes and most of the time we learn from them and move on with our lives but sometimes the price for making some mistakes is too high. Sometimes the best thing we can do is remember so that if we ever find love again to try and fully appreciate what we have there and then, love is hard to find at the best of times I guess that is why it hurts so much when we lose it.

Sometimes it is the choices that we and our partners make before we've ever met from religion to something as simple as smoking that can have a major effect on the relationship later on, there are some people out there who look for love but when they find it they get scared and run away for a plethora of reasons, some as selfish as not wanting to get hurt and willing to hurt the ones they love to spare themselves the pain others don't know why they get scared they just do.

I think that when we lose love and it is our own fault the pain becomes to much to bear and we stop looking for love and choose to be alone as a self inflicted punishment in a way we are in a living hell, where every thought is filled with those we pushed away and our hearts never stop feeling like there is something missing... something happy.

Sometimes there is a tiny glimmer of hope still left in our hearts that gives us the determination we need to bring our selves out of our little corner of hell, the little voice in the back of our heads that says "I am not giving up". In my opinion none of us will ever be able to fully understand what love really is only that it is as fragile as our own hearts and changes as quickly as the weather.

Learn more about this author, Luke O'Connor.
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