by Cathy Mcclellan

Created on: January 26, 2009

Do Soul Mates really exist? I think this question is actually misleading. It should read, in my opinion, that "Can" soul mates really exist. I don't think the reality of soul mates is as black or white as the question implies.

I do believe soul mates exist, but I believe this comes about in a different way.

After reading some of the debates I have concluded that my views are quite a bit different than others, so what for what it's worth, here is my opinion. No offense to anyone.

I don't believe we know our soul mates the minute we meet them. Sure, your first impression of meeting someone new will lead you to the knowledge if you want that person in your life or not. You very well may have an instant strong connection with that person and you both are on the same level of connection with each other. Everything in your relationship with each other, whether it is a friendship or intimate, is absolutely perfect. For now.

Many people put on facades in the beginning. There is no way to know if this person is going to be a soul mate yet, because more than likely, that person is not going to bare his soul and possibly pretend to be in agreement with all of your views.

A lot of times, you think you have a soul mate only to find out that that person may have something he/she is hiding from you and when you find out, it can be devastating. An example, the person is perfect in every way. You are absolutely certain you have met that soul mate instantly and over time that conviction is re-enforced each day. But a day comes when you find out something devastating. Like molesters, abusers, etc.? Are they soul mates now?

I believe you grow your soul mates through years of commitment to one another. If a friendship can survive distance, change in attitudes, change in a way of life, chances are that could be a soul mate relationship. If you are in an intimate relationship, the same applies but with the knowledge that this relationship transcends everything as time goes by.

When my husband and I married 30 years ago, he was not my soul mate. I loved him dearly and knew I wanted to be with him forever. But, no one could be part of my soul. I am an individual. God made each of us different. No one is the same so how can you be a reflection of each other? Yes, you can have many, many things and beliefs in common but you are still an individual in the end.

It wasn't until the years passed, through the rough times and good, through the pain and the laughter, through raising our kids with different

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