by Garry Shepherd

Created on: January 26, 2009

No matter how old your children are, it is always scary when they leave home for the first time. The first child being the worst. It is a frightful experience and every horrible nightmare that a parent can imagine, happening to the first child that leaves their home, usually crosses their mind. After all, you have protected and helped them this far, now what's going to happen to them?

With them being officially on their own, there will be no more holding their hand and reminding them of anything, and if you do, your going to get the "I'm an adult now, I am doing just fine dad and mom" conversation. Oh and don't forget not only do you have to cope with them leaving, you have to repress your natural parental instinct to not treat them like a child anymore. How will you manage to cope with all of the stress, worry and insecurities? Here are a few tips.

#1 Prepare yourself early and help them get ready when they leave. This well give your reassurance that they will have everything they need when they leave or give them a good starting point. It will also help you mentally prepare as you help them pack up their stuff. It can give you a focal point by recognizing things they might not have and you can focus on getting them later on (excuse to go see them when your feeling blue hint hint).

#2 Stay calm, and do not overwhelm yourself and your adult child with overbearing contact once they have left. Set a schedule for contact with your adult child, set up a set time, like a Sunday when neither one of you are busy and can catch up, weekly or every other week. You will spend time looking forward to it and it will help you stay focused and in good spirits. Do this on the telephone weekly or once or twice a month in person. It is important for them to be reassured that your there for them and give them their space as well to grow.

#3 Maintain your regular schedule with your own life, so when you do have conversations, you can both have something to talk about. Maintaining your own schedule and keeping consistency with your own regular habits, will help you feel normal faster. Children recognize when something is wrong with their parents and most children worry about their parents as much as the parent worries about them. If your child feels like your coping well, they will feel better about being on their own too. Don't forget, they are leaving you as well and have their own feelings to cope with.

#4 Don't criticize your child and overwhelm them with your worries about their

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