by neznakomka

Created on: January 26, 2009

I wouldn't mind to be examined by a male gynecologist, and I don't even want a female nurse to serve as a chaperon. "One should never be ashamed of a doctor", my mother would say, referring to a great-grandma who died tragically because she was ashamed to show her doctor a malignant tumor on a "shameful" place.

But my heart is always shivering in the examination room of my overly skinny physician. Why won't the insurance companies list the doctors' body mass index also, next to the year of graduation, affiliations, residencies, gender, languages spoken? Why?!

"So, what are you doing to lose weight?", his usual question.

I'm not obese, just shaped enough to give him the reason to ask it.

"Well, I think I eat good food", I said, considering the fact that whatever I'd say in favor of my innocence, I would still sound like a criminal to him.

But what I stated was true. I hadn't prepared deep-fried meals for a long time; I ate whole-grain bread (one to two slices a day, no more), low-fat or non-fat milk products, plenty of fruits and vegetables, some nuts, almost no meat, and my only sin was the dark chocolate - 85% cocoa and just 5g sugar, which I occasionally munched when I felt sleepy and had already drunk too much coffee for the day. And I enjoyed my daily one-hour walks very much - like my neighbor, whose shape wouldn't change either.

Nevertheless, I had to burn fifteen pounds.

"Being overweighed can cause a lot of problems : high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease ... let me look at the results of your blood test", he opened the folder.

"Oh, they are just fine!"

"Is there something wrong with me because they are?", the thought crossed quickly my mind, but I suppressed it fast it wasn't a good idea to tease the devil.

I walked out of my doctor's office the usual way - diagnosed as being overweighed, caring the sheet with what to eat and how to exercise, and thinking that if my blood pressure was good in his presence, it should be more than perfect outside of his room.

Because I knew that the only year he was satisfied with my weight was in the distant 2001.

"Oh, you've lost weight", he exclaimed then. "How nice!"

"Yes, I did, I've had a tough year".

"Oh, you did? But you managed to get in shape, and this is wonderful!"

Somehow, I couldn't open my mouth to say more about my full-time studying and full-time job at that time, and taking care of two small children, and surviving on non-diet coke to keep me awake, and trying to finish a sandwich in the car, and running (literally!) between errands, with a heart beating fast, and having a working husband in a different part of the country who couldn't be of much help.

No wonder, I was losing weight, and my doctor loved that, and the health statistics loved it, too.

But I loved the sheet with good food and exercising advice more. Even though it was not going to bring me back to me year-2001-shape, it seemed less likely to elevate my blood pressure.

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