by Gina Lawton

Created on: January 26, 2009

I've never been a very trusting person. Call it the effect of abuse, or living in an environment where most people don't say what they mean, my "friendships" have been few and far between. I also tend to be pretty discerning about people, reading who was "safe" and who was not.

After an especially traumatic life change a few years ago, I was forced to move into an area where I knew no one. Determined to not let anyone into my life, I flew solo a lot, spending time alone and refusing to put myself into a position where I could be hurt again.

During our transition, our family lived temporarily at a local campground. While we were there, we met a family I felt an instant connection with. Call the the effect of campground comfortability or extended periods of time together, our families hit it off very well. I told my friend, "Sarah," that I felt we were pre-determined to be friends for life. I also shared with her that people I considered true friends were people I was faithful to the end with.

She was going through a particularly tough time in her life, too. I remember many long, emotional conversations, encouraging her and listening to her. I tend to see people's strengths, and I like to let them know I see them. I felt in my heart Sarah was a person I could build up - and that someday, she'd do the same for me.

Our lives progressed together. My husband forged a working relationship with her husband. Our kids spent a lot of time getting to know each other, building strong friendships. We hung out, did things together, and shared good and bad times. Others came along, too. We entered into a close, small group of friends who determined to share our lives. It was restorative for me - I began to hope again.

Somewhere along the journey, though, I noticed that Sarah and a couple of the other friends from our group started doing things together, and not inviting me. Whether it was that Sarah was looking for something "more," or she was being influenced by the other women, I don't know. I determined to stay her friend, regardless. As time when on, though, she continued to change - mostly following the shadow of the other women. Eventually, she stopped talking to me, and her world revolved around one of the other women. They were "soul" mates. They thought the same thoughts - "It's amazing to me," she'd say, "I was just thinking something and so was ..." this other friend.

The problem with this relationship Sarah was cultivating was that behind her back, this other woman said

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