by Kellie Webster

Created on: January 26, 2009   Last Updated: March 05, 2010

The purpose of preaching' is to give your views, reprimand or teach on a particular subject or incident. When we preach to our children we often fail to notice their reaction or response to the speech we are delivering because we are relating it to our own views. Sometimes it just comes out, we start telling them how it is, or how it is going to be.
Whilst we are rambling on in our own world, the child is probably thinking about what they are going to do next, eyes glazed over mind in another moment, they probably don't hear a word you are saying. If we want to get a message across to a younger person, it is important that we do it in a way that is most effective.

Firstly put yourself in their shoes. Surely there has been a time in your life where you were not sure of something, so you went with what seemed right at the time. Only later on did you discover that you'd upset someone or taken the wrong path. Before preaching to your child, you need to discuss with them what happened and why it happened. Try to understand what their thinking was behind the action.

If you are talking to a younger person not only put yourself in their shoes but take yourself down off your step ladder. Get down to their level that is their eye level. If you are towering over a person they are more likely going to feel intimidated than willing to listen to what you have to say. Enable a two way conversation and an equal one at that. Kneel down, or sit down to discuss the issue at hand. Allowing the person you are talking to to maintain eye level will show you are sincere and also you see if you are connecting with them through the windows of their eyes.

Don't be patronising, if you tell a child they are too young to understand, you are raising a red flag which will not encourage cooperation, but more likely entice them to do something out of spite or the feeling of proving you wrong. This maybe especially true if a child is asking for your advice on a topic. The topic maybe about alcohol, or smoking or maybe even about "where they came from". If they are asking, then they are obviously aware.
If they are aware of the topic ask yourself whether you want them to hear about it from you, or whether you want them to hear about it from another less reliable source.

Always give the child a chance to give their side of the story. Open those lines of communication up. If you don't you may find yourself going on a different path to what the child was thinking. Or if you are telling them off about

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