by Heather Bell

Created on: January 25, 2009

THE SINGLE MOM'S GUIDE TO LOSING HER JOB: PART ONE

Let me begin by clarifying that I am writing based on real-life experience, not as some kind of theorist or "self-help guru." I have lost a job I loved, my house, and, most recently, my car. But I have not lost my perseverance, sense of self, or faith.

If you are a single mom who just lost her job, then you, like me, probably hold membership in certain "clubs": One-Club MOM. Two-Club Career, Three-The Working Mothers' Juggling Club. If you are anything at all like the women I know, then you do (did) your job very well. Probably too well. You have been loyal, dependable and profitable to the company you worked for. You have been DOING IT ALL, and probably taking for granted the hectic scramble that has been your life since your first child was born.

Nonetheless, you have just been "axed, cut back, decruited, dehired dismissed, dissolved, downsized, eliminated, firedlet go, liquidated, made obsoletereduced, released, replaced, restructuredsurplused, terminated, or torpedoed." No matter how you say it: YOU NO LONGER HAVE A JOB, which probably also means you have lost a large part of your identity. More excruciatingly, you no longer have income, insurance (if you were lucky enough to have it in the first place), or any other "paid benefits" that were part of your "compensation package." Chances are you'd like to give the company you worked for a package to compensate, but hey, that's just not going to help you.

So, what should you do right now?

Take a deep breath and do.NOTHING. That's what I said: NOTHING. You have suffered a terrible blow and need to process it. Breathe.

Now, apply for unemployment benefits. Put aside your pride and your misconceptions: there is no good reason not to file. You may not get it, or you may find another job right away and not need it, but APPLY. Next, realize your world has not ended, it has changed. Put the money issue aside for a moment (yes, I know you need to pay for mortgage/rent, utilities, car expenses, cell phone, internet service, human food, pet food etc.). Realize, however, that if you still have children at home, you have a wealth of opportunity.

First, you have the opportunity to show your children through your example how to handle a crisis-with tears, laughter, and composure. Yes, you are upset and angry, and it's okay for your children to know that. However, invoke the courage to find what good may be wrung out of the situation. Refuse to give in to despair.

If you have little

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