by miss nobody

Created on: January 25, 2009

This is not an easy task by any means but it is a task that needs to be achieved.

There is a great deal of difference to this scenario depending on how old the children are. As a single parent when my sons were 2 and 4 it was a lot less challenging a task at that age than when they became teenagers.

We "mould" our children at a young age by what we do and say ourselves. We are the role model that they will take after. At a young age our children see us as being right and cannot even understand the concept of that parent being "wrong". So they will learn good things from us and also bad things from us.

Anger can come from frustration, tiredness, loneliness and many other places. As an adult we need to stop and think about our actions and our words before we act or speak. A childhood is a precious time and I was fortunate to have a wonderful (not perfect) childhood and very much wanted that for my children.

However we feel, whether it is bitterness from the split, or unhappiness from being alone, this must not be picked up by the children. I decided in my head that I was to carry on as normal in front of the childen and cry in private. I made a decicion to think only of them and be the much needed mother and father figure.

I am a firm believer in discipline. Children, like dogs, behave better and feel safer when they know where the line is drawn, so to speak. Once boundaries are set then a child knows right from wrong. Of course, this is tested in teenage years, but then again that is "normal". I believe when there is discipline and a child know those boundaries there is less friction, therefore giving a more harmonious atmosphere.

I speak from experience of being a childminder of preschoolers in my own home, as well as having my own children. I found other people's children more frustrating than my own at times because they had different boundaries and rules at home, or indeed none at all! The challenge is to teach children hat there maybe no rules at home, or different rules, but once in my care there were a whole different set of rules which they were expected to adhere to.

Children are far more adaptable and resilient than a lot of adults give them credit for. They will take on responsibilities for tasks, they will react in a positive way to discipline as long as it is fair and consistent. We are not talking ruling with an iron fist here, we are talking sensible discipline in a kind way.

This is a huge factor in avoiding anger both in a frustrated adult or a frustrated

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