by Rachelle de Bretagne

Created on: January 25, 2009   Last Updated: June 19, 2009

Forgiveness is vital to the relationship between a parent and their child, just as it is in any other relationship. Those that never learn to forgive never get beyond the point of forgiveness to the healing process, or allow themselves the luxury of trust. Often we hear parents saying to their children "I should have known", and what this does is reinforce that a parent doesn't trust their child and that they expect repeated behavior. It is only by true forgiveness that a child learns, since being reminded of their faults exaggerates the problems which exist instead of healing them.

*When a child does wrong.

*When a child doesn't agree.

*When a child has made mistakes.

*When a child needs your trust.

*How to make trust work.

*Moving on to a complete relationship.

When a child does wrong.

Who can ever say that they have not sinned. From an early age the Bible teaches us that he who is without sin should cast the first stone. There's a great moral to that story, and even if you are not Christian, the same message applies. Before recrimination, look at the purpose of that act and remember we were all young once, and that a child will make mistakes. Their judgment is not as advanced as yours, and although you expect them to be able to make wise decisions, they have more excuse than you do for misbehavior, in that they haven't lived as long as you have.

Of course there should be a penalty for their wrongdoing. Whether this comes in the form of being grounded, or doing without pocket money, or some kind of penalty, there is a price to pay for doing wrong, though recrimination on a long term basis doesn't help them to move forward and in fact just shows how adults make judgments and are inflexible. Let them pay the penalty without losing your love. It's fundamental to good parenting practice that you should learn to forgive and forget. This helps the healing process and helps the trust between a parent and child to grow.

When a child doesn't agree.

Children do the oddest things. Sometimes you may demand something of a child that they don't want to do, and they may disagree with you. Let them have their say. This helps build up trust. If you have brought up your child to be able to make decisions, what point is there to always disagreeing with them? It shows lack of trust in their judgment, and the grudges that parents hold over children who have differing views will always stop trust developing.

They won't talk to you about things because they will

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>