by Shawn Forno

Created on: January 25, 2009   Last Updated: January 05, 2010

Everyone knows the text book ways to pass time on a long flight:

1) Read a book.

2) Listen to music.

3) Watch the in-flight movie.

Boring.

I've traveled extensively over the past few years, from Australia to Europe, and I've compiled a list of the five best ways to pass the time on a long flight. Buckle up, because with these, it'll be a bumpy - but fun - ride.

1) Crossword puzzles.

Crossword puzzles? Sounds even more boring than a book right - wrong. The best way to pass time on a long flight is by using the crossword puzzle located at the back of whatever overpriced sky mall catalogue is wedged into the back of the seat in front of you. Simply, take the magazine out and get to work on the puzzle. The secret here is to write the most ridiculous answers you can fit into the spaces provided. If six down is "blank cadabra" - four letters - don't write "abra," write " face." If eight across is a unit of time - six letters - don't write "minute," put "noodle." Fill in about half of the puzzle this way.

The best part comes next, when after visibly struggling with the crossword puzzle for about half an hour - sighing, chewing on your pencil, and shifting in your seat in frustration are key - turn to the person sitting next to you and say, "I'm stuck here. Would you mind helping me with a few just to get me started again?" 99% of people will be more than glad to help you out, and while they sift through your insane babble stare intently at them. They'll grow increasingly nervous, and will most likely hand back the puzzle untouched with a fake chagrin. After that you get to watch them stew in their own awkward juices for the next eleven hours. When you fly over Fiji, shout out, "Fiji! I needed a four letter word for awesome." Smile big.

2) Fake napping.

Most lengthy flights have an overnight period when the cabin lights are dimmed, the crew are not roaming the aisles, and most passengers are dozing. While it's fun to mess with people at night, it's just too obvious. That's why tip #2 on the list is to fall asleep in the day time, preferable right after boarding.

The middle seat is the best place to start your fake nap, but any chair will do so long as someone is sitting next to you. To accomplish this time-consuming and pointless joke, simply grab one of those faux polyester airplane blankets, as many pillows as you can snag from the overhead compartment (you know, the one at the front where the flight attendants are hiding all the good pillows) and prepare to rack

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>