by Mary Campbell

Created on: January 25, 2009

If you're a single parent, you've probably discovered that it's easy to lose yourself among the demands on your time, money, and nurturing capacity. Many single parents, moms and dads alike, are so busy chasing multiple responsibilities - the kids, the job, the housekeeping, the meals, the home and auto maintenance, perhaps a pair of piddling pups - that self-maintenance falls by the wayside.

Of course, all single parents are not created equal. Some have one easygoing kid, others have eight squabblers. Some are widows or widowers, others have angry ex-husbands or ex-wives, and still others are lucky enough to maintain cooperative relationships with their former spouses. Some have healthy and loving family members nearby who are eager to help out; in other cases, there is little or no family support. Indeed, a single mom or dad might have to care for aging parents as well as growing children.

Let's assume, for the purpose of this discussion, that you're not independently wealthy; that Mary Poppins doesn't live at your house; that you have to work full-time just to keep your children adequately fed, clothed, and sheltered; and that you conscientiously arrange for your kids to be involved in a typical array of childhood activities - soccer games, piano lessons, choir practice, and birthday parties.

In addition, again for the purpose of this discussion, let's layer on a little single-parent guilt, nibbling away at your conscience and draining the energy you desperately need as taxi-driver, employee, referee, chief cook and bottle-washer.

Who's got time even for a self-indulgent soak in the tub? Forget about the restorative yoga class and, heaven forefend, the luxury of an evening of dining and dancing. You're already stretched to the limit.

There are ways to loosen up, however, and if you're wise, you'll make use of them. Here are a few suggestions for taking care of you and keeping your sanity in the bargain:

1. Lose the single-parent guilt

Guilt is a heavy burden that wears you out and chips away at your self-esteem. Guilt is a useful emotion when it's deserved and causes you to change your ways. Chances are, however, that you're doing the best you can under difficult circumstances. Keep on keeping on, and pat yourself on the back every time you put food on the table, lovingly bandage an ouchie, and read a storybook at bedtime.

2. Pay yourself first

If you're no good to yourself, you're no good to anyone else. Have you heard the metaphor about sharpening the saw? You

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