by Kellie Webster

Created on: January 25, 2009

A child of a single parent home may feel that home life is a little unorganised and maybe a little chaotic at times. As a single parent I know I certainly feel that way occassionally. It is at those times that I take a breath, sit down and reassess where I am going, what I want to achieve for the week, the month and sometimes beyond. I set myself a few goals, achievable goals that give me back my sense of purpose. Feeling back in control over aspects of my family and life is a very reassuring. So why not encourage my children to do the same? Why not encourage your child to set their own goals?

My eldest daughter was thrown into turmoil when her Dad walked out. No longer was she confident and optimistic. Suddenly she felt different to her friends and stopped believing in her own abilities. As her mother I needed to show her she was good enough, she could achieve things and no matter whether her father lived with us or not she could reach those same great heights that all people being equal could achieve.

The first thing I did to help my daughter was talk about getting the things we wanted. The purpose of the discussion was to find out what type of things she desired. I knew that if there was something that she really wanted then helping her set up some goals and achieve them would give her a sense of renewed worth. We talked about goals, and I led by example. I shared with her a few things that I wanted to achieve in the near future. I explained how hard work was required to achieve what I truly wanted. I also shared with her, how she could help me achieve some of my goals and maybe she had a few of her own that I could help her with.

A good idea is to start with small achievable goals. After talking about my goals, I encouraged her to discuss some things that she might want to achieve. I kept the language basic and in a manner that she could relate to and I made it fun, not a chore. She soon revealed some things that she wanted to do or get and from there the discussion continued. By starting small your child can see fast results through their efforts. They can also see how goal setting and reaching their target is a way to feel good about themselves and their life.

Once we established the end goal that my child wanted to achieve, we then talked about what had to be done in order to achieve that end result. For example if the goal was to buy a desired book a plan had to be written up on how to get that book, such as ;

1)
to do her chores

2)
save her pocket money

3)

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