by Willard Simms

Created on: January 25, 2009

So, what are you supposed to do after your retirement nest egg fell off the stock market wall, and splattered like Humpty Dumpty all over the sidewalk? Especially since you know there are tens of thousands of other gray haired Humpty's out there looking for work too. Well, in this electronic age you can look at various online job finding services, like. for example, Craig's List. Online job applications are where it's at today, they're immediate and direct, unlike the old newspaper "help wanted" sections. That's why they're all over the internet. you can go right to the application site, read the job description and pay rate, and then send them all your information over the internet. The only problem with them is that most of the potential employers want you to fill out certain standard electronic application forms - like when you were born and your past work history. And when you download the electronic forms to fill out, many times it will list: Were you born in 199_, 198_, 197_, 196_ and that's as far back as they go. So, what are you suppossed to do if you were born before the 1960's? Writing in your own special "antique" category sticks out like a sore thumb and rules you right there. I mean you might as well say you're an expert on a manual typewriter, which was what people used before there were computers. Not only is that a skill no longer desired, it makes you sound like a smartass even mentioning it.

And what if you have too much experience at what you're applying for? I mean if you have all of those years in at this particular type of work, why are you looking for a job? What was wrong with your old one? Saying you put your time in enjoyably, but thought you were finished with the work life (because you'd done it for so long), doesn't really cut it. I mean you don't want potential employers worried you might drop dead on the job your first week. So, I came up with an idea... I'm thinking of putting my son's date of birth in the job application and if I get the job, I'll just tell my new employer that I had a really bad night, saw an absolutely terrible accident on the way to work that turned my hair white - and I won't look like this tomorrow. Then I'll mention how much I love texting, and throw out some good internet jive like "lol" and "brb" and mention how much I love my bluetooth. That's the sort of thing that might work today! Be aggressive and creative, isn't that the American way?

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