by Robin Tidwell

Created on: January 25, 2009   Last Updated: April 29, 2009

There are many factors to consider in allowing a child to stay home alone, beginning with the child himself. In some states, there are laws which address this and, in others, there are no such constraints. Please do check this in your locale before you allow your child to be home alone.

Children as young as six have stayed home by themselves; this was, of course, in a different era, but even as recently as twenty years ago. On the other hand, some children who have reached the age of fourteen are unable to effectively govern themselves when left alone.

The first thing to consider is the maturity of the child. Will he be comfortable and will he be safe; these are the pertinent questions. If your child indicates a comfort level which would allow this, start by leaving him at home for short periods during the daytime; it is a fact that more crime occurs after dark and your child may feel distinctly uncomfortable being alone during the evening hours.

Next, be sure to have contact methods well-established. Make sure the child has a working phone and that you carry one as well; in addition, arrange for a neighbor or close friend (or other family member) to be available by phone. Give the child a list of numbers to call in case of emergency, loneliness, or panic; post them in a prominent place, such as on the fridge, so they won't get lost. And above all, be sure the child is capable of dialing 911 and knows when to do so.

Finally, have a discussion with your child about the rules he is to follow when he's home alone: no snacking (potential choking hazard), homework or chores to be completed, television or computer or game rules, no answering the door for any reason, telling callers that Mom or Dad is in the shower (as opposed to running errands), no friends dropping by, and so forth. These rules will protect him and give you a bit more peace of mind.

Once there have been several successful occurrences, you may wish to progress to longer periods of time or to being farther from home while your child is alone. It is not recommended that children under the age of twelve be left alone for more than a few hours, and for no longer than an hour after dark.

If you begin practicing with your child and progress to more responsibility and longer periods of time, by age fourteen your child should be just fine staying home alone at almost any time. However, with these teenage years comes an element of sneakiness and experimentation, however innocent your child may appear and however much maturity he shows - this can present another set of issues such as allowing friends in, abdicating chores and homework, or even having an impromptu party. Don't lower your guard just yet!

Making the decision to allow your child to stay home alone requires careful consideration of all factors: the child's maturity, the neighborhood in which one lives, and the time of day and/or length of time. Start slowly, and progress as quickly as your and your child's comfort level dictates. Allowing a child to stay home alone can be a very liberating experience for both of you.

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