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My husband and I chose to have a small, intimate beach ceremony and reception. For us, having our families and closest friends as witnesses to our exchange of vows was the ideal wedding. Most of our friends and family were from out of town and we knew we could easily keep the invitees to a small number. We knew we would be sacrificing large showers and a lot of fun, gift generating events, prior to our wedding but having the intimacy of a smaller wedding still outweighed in benefits. When my husband's (then fiance's) best friends offered to throw us a shower, we politely declined because we knew most of the guests that would be invited would not be receiving a wedding invitation. We just thought it would be rude to ask for gifts and then not invite the shower invitees to the wedding. I had a small bridal shower (just the girls) and besides that we received gifts on our wedding day. Perfect! Soon after we were married, shower invitations flowed in every week for another couple who was getting married. Every week, we would receive an invitation to a shower telling us what type of gift to bring and where the couple was registered. The wedding hasn't happened yet and we've already been asked for 3 gifts. It's financially draining on wedding guests to continually give shower presents on top of the expected wedding gift, not to mention any travel, hotel accommodations, babysitter, attire, etc. If you are a bride to be, I know it's difficult to decline showers and gifts galore, but please be mindful of your guests and decide what you really need, want and is most important around this special time in your life. By the time your wedding comes around, if you've asked for too many gifts, your guests are financially and mentally drained, not to mention annoyed rather than happy about your big day.

Learn more about this author, Julia England.
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