by Mona Gallagher

Created on: January 24, 2009   Last Updated: March 26, 2009

Forgiveness is a heart restored to it's home and trust is a vital and crucial element in parent and child relationships. It is restoration of a relationship that was broken and in distress, made whole again. The importance of forgiveness and trust between a parent and child means the difference between a real home and a place called home.

We're fallible humans and are subject to making mistakes, sometimes acting out of irritation when things go wrong. Everyday events can trigger our worst character flaws. For example, you have an important early meeting and the alarm doesn't go off that morning. It may seem like the world is spinning out of control and you start to scream and yell at the children in your frustration.

One minute can seem like a lifetime when you're under enormous stress. You know it, that's the exact moment you say words that wound people, because at that moment it is all about you and not about the people you love. Most of us are wired in a similar manner. It's a very rare individual who can remain calm when we're panicked about consequences of our actions.

We make mistakes and we deliver emotional blows in moments of extreme agitation and aggravation. Forgiveness is needed from our children for our out of control actions. Do we follow through with asking for forgiveness or do we forget about it after it has blown over? It's not easy to bring up our unreasonable actions and humble our selves before our children. It's easier to sweep it under the rug.

Parents who've never experienced much grace and forgiveness may not understand the healing power and release of guilt through forgiveness. For those parents it's next to impossible to ask for forgiveness from a child because of the shame they feel. The rest of us may ask, but sometimes we approach it all wrong. Admitting a wrong is not easy but it is imperative.

Children need to experience forgiveness so they can learn to forgive.

We expect our children to apologize when they've done a wrong, offended, or hurt someone. We often demand it. If we practice forgiveness in their presence, we're setting the standard by our actions. In effect, we're modeling forgiveness and when you receive the benefits of restoration, you understand the value and are more likely to display the same behavior.

Granting forgiveness doesn't mean that we agree with their actions. Wrong is still wrong. Discipline and an appropriate form of punishment may be called for in some situations. The punishment could be allowing the child

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