by Cherise James

Created on: January 23, 2009

I am an only child, and I am an over-protected brat. It's a hard way to grow up. Loneliness was a huge problem for me for several reasons. No siblings to play with is the most obvious (the thing I wanted most though, was someone in my room with me at night). My parents were very young, and many of their friends didn't have children, so I spent a lot of time around adults. And I was quite difficult for other children to get along with: bossy, demanding, and controlling. Did my parents contribute to all of this? Certainly, though I believe they did the best they could with what they knew.

The main problem with only children is that there is no one to share with. Brattiness comes naturally to them, because they get used to having everything exactly the way they want it. Heaven help the younger sibling of a kid who was an only child for six or more years. Selfishness is a natural, normal, human behavior, and one of the first lessons children learn about being less selfish comes from dealing with siblings. Only children don't get that lesson, and there is nothing parents can do about that, short of providing siblings. The closest parents can get is to provide ample social opportunities for their only child, and talk with the child about his/her behavior in these situations regularly. Communication is super important, though parents will have to be careful to tailor the talks to the child's age and maturity.

Parents naturally want to step in the moment they feel a need for comfort or protection. Mothers are especially prone to this response. Siblings disrupt the ability of parents to step in at every moment, forcing children to learn a little self-reliance. When I was small, I was very sensitive to emotional vibes. My mother quit watching soap operas because I would sit in front of the TV and cry the whole time. I was picking up the unhappy vibes from the program, even though I wasn't even old enough to talk much. Later my mom kept me away from a lot of TV and movies because I would wake up screaming during the night after watching anything remotely scary, or sob uncontrollably in my sleep after watching something sad. Under the circumstances, it would have been pretty hard not to be overprotective. But I grew up without the ability to deal with grief or fear, and have had quite a struggle with these emotions as an adult. Watching scary and sad things with me, comforting me during them, and talking to me about them afterward would have helped prepare me for adulthood.

Only

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>