by Sandra Clyde

Created on: January 23, 2009   Last Updated: April 06, 2011

Falling in love should not be easy. I thought when I was 18 that I would not find the one 'true love' that most of the girls in high school had. In my day, most of us became wives, mothers, secretaries, or nurses.

Although I met my husband and knew him for a year before we even dated, I had no desire to be with him until two months before we married. Then we were not really 'in love' but more 'in lust'. We grew to being in love, but we had to work on that.

Sometimes I think that I should have gotten to know Mr. 41 Years of Marriage better. But then I may not have been with him for 41 years. He was from a very dysfunctional family, before we knew what to call it, but he had decided our marriage was not going to be like his parents'. Although his mom was his dad's second wife, the marriage lasted a good while until his death.

My grandparents knew each other for three days and were married for 60 years until his death; Granny never remarried. My dad and mom met on Mother's Day and married on Father's Day the same year, until her death 49 years later. So if you don't want to work on a marriage, or love, then you can just throw it away.

The falling in love part should be as I always said with having my children when young - "I want to grow with them," even though I knew one of us was the parent. That did not come with a manual and you had to work on that. It's as scary raising children as coming into a relationship; you're not sure what to expect.

We live in the Throw Away Generation right now. It is so easy to throw away, or upgrade, cell phones, radios, electronic games, cars, and relationships. No one wants to work on anything, and for the most part, most people think it is easier to get another one.

Love should not be easy to fall into. The person you care about should know what your desires are and want to have you first in their life. You must also be careful that the feelings you have for another one are not just lonely, wanting to be the other half of someone. Then you can end up with the wrong one. This can happen no matter what age you are.

Sometime when we end up with the wrong one we tend to say, "Oh well, maybe they will change. At least I'm not by myself." Some say maybe they should fall in love with a friend. But the reality is that is one way to ruin a friendship. To me, I think it is better to become friends with your loved one.

Another thing I believe is - you can love a person, but not like what they do or say at times. But remember that is their opinion. And you know what they say about opinions, everyone has one.

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