by Mj Ferruzza

Created on: January 23, 2009

It's your first date with Mr. or Ms Lucky and you don't want it to come off like a job interview. You have a lot to offer and are truly interested in your date, so your listening receptors are up. How do you break the ice? With the following steps, I will guide you to getting the proverbial ball rolling. These are not set in stone and you can adjust each step to fit you and your conversation.

Starting out. You will never have a good conversation in a busy or noisy environment. Some restaurants, most concerts and homes with prying parties looking and listening in (parents and/or children) will not be conducive to an open and really good first date talk. Keep this in mind as you start in on getting to know each other.

For Men:
1. Women want a good listener and the best way to get the conversation going is with open ended questions. Instead of 'where did you go to school?', try 'what did you think of high school or college or school altogether?' An open ended question will allow them to tell you whether you hit a happy memory or a raw nerve.
2. Women like compliments, but they also like to know what a man really likes about women. It seems a survey, but when do women really get the chance to pin a man down and hear his side of dating and others in the dating world? Keep your answers positive.
3. Childhood memories are good conversation starters, ex boyfriends and divorces are not.
4. I remember in college that I groomed myself to be a better date by keeping up with certain pop culture items that my dates might be into and use them in conversation. I got more into soap operas (including some story lines from the most popular shows). I knew about certain musical artists that I would not necessarily follow. (IE.. I am not a huge country music fan, but when I hear women talk about Kenny Chesney being good looking, I learn more about just what it is that makes Kenny Chesney so popular!) I even read Cosmo and a plethora of other magazines that the women I would date might subscribe to or at least scan from time to time.
5. If you are dating a pet owner or animal lover, you might use that tack to get the conversation going.
6. Humor always works. You don't have to be a borscht belt comic and try to impress your date all night with a barrage of mother-in-law jokes, but trading a joke or two (a quick wit never hurts) will keep the conversation lively. Watch out for off color and esoteric humor. You want them to think that you are fun and fun loving, not a secret racist with a

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