by Amy Denney

Created on: January 23, 2009

As parents, it is our duty to discipline our children. We must teach them morals and values in order for them to become well- rounded productive citizens in our community. Hand-in-hand with discipline comes forgiveness.

No matter what age the child is, discipline should never be taught with anger. It should be dealt with intelligence, consequences and finally forgiveness. If a child knows that they are loved unconditionally, they are more likely to care about their behavior and the effect it has on themselves and their parents. How can a child know unconditional love if there is no forgiveness? There have been many times when I have said to one of my children, "I honestly do not like the way that you are behaving and what you are doing, but I will never stop loving you no matter what."

We all learn by making mistakes. None of us are perfect and we can never expect any of our children to be. By providing constructive discipline along with forgiveness; we are not only teaching our child right from wrong but also the ability to forgive themselves and others when the wrong decision is made.

If a person does not learn that they can be forgiven for actions that they have taken, then they loose the incentive to learn from their mistakes, to become a better person. They also never learn compassion for others and how to deal with the imperfections that we all possess.

One day my six-year old came home from school. He was so angry. Another little boy in the class had misbehaved so the teacher had told the whole class that they were not going to go outside that day. My son told me that the whole class was mad at this little boy and nobody was going to be his friend. I tried to convince him that he should forgive the little boy and try to be his friend. That way he could show him how to behave and the little boy would want to be good so he could go outside with the other kids and play. Well it didn't work. He went to school the next day just as angry as he was the day before. My son got into trouble for being mean to the little boy and had a note sent home. Of course, he had to be disciplined and so I took away his outdoor time when he got home. Well, he cried and pleaded but I did not give in. I hugged him and told him I loved him but it was out of the question for him to misbehave at school. I was also disappointed that he would be mean to someone else. The next day, he went to school and apologized to the little boy and to his teacher. The class was allowed to go outside that day and my son played with his new friend. The other kids didn't want to but when they saw how much fun those two were having they joined in. When my son got home from school that day he was happy and said,"You were right mom. I should have listened to you. Thanks."

Discipline taught without anger or violence teaches honor, integrity, restraint and character. Forgiveness allows one the ability to give and receive love and find true happiness. As parents, isn't this what we all want for our children?

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