by L. Merlino

Created on: January 23, 2009

Secret organizations are all out in the open these days. Conspiracy theories are exposed, the Free Masons run national ad campaigns and what with Dan Brown's da Vinci Code and Rhonda Byrne's "Secret," it's a wonder that there's any "secret" left in this world. The cat is genuinely out of the bag, every stool pigeon has sung its refrain - the M.O.B. (Mind Your Own Business) is out of wraps, the CIA is transparent, yet one secret remains under cloaks: the secret to organization itself!

Take my closet for instance - it's a real cloak and dagger affair. A veritable Prieure de Sion exists behind the back racks, and let me tell you - it is a mystery unsolved. Old hats, dominos from Halloweens past and many other things missing in action have a way of finding themselves there.

I'd dig for treasure in the back of my wardrobe, but am afraid the Inquisition would track my every move.

Talk about mystery - Rennes-le-Chateau has nothing on my closet. The other day, I attempted dig out a decent red dress to wear for an upcoming office party and emerged from the depths of the wardrobe as white as a sheet! I swear Rex Mundi himself had leered at me from a dark corner. How does one get organized around that?

Now, about that red dress - it was a hand-me-down of a hand-me-down from my great grandmother - dating all the way back to the sixteenth century. It still had class. I figured if I cut the hem a bit and took it in here and there, it would make quite a conversation piece with my auburn red hair. It would need a bit of work to pull off the desired effect, but let's say I was inspired by a certain recent paperback best seller - one that features a redhead and abounds with conspiracy theories. Why let it gather dust?

Like the lady in the novel, I come from a long line of French aristocrats (give or take a few Native American genes) - that's what researching a family tree will help you discover Yes, I have better things to do with my time, but what's the daughter of a "French Quebecois" to do to get noticed by high society?

Bring out and alter the red dress! Alas, I've never been very organized and even the branches of my family tree are all tangled - but that's another matter. After downing a double shot of Courvoisier, I ventured forth, back to the closet, and what do I see but the hem of a deliciously red dress conspicuously trailing the bottom of a rack of last Spring's party gear!

Ha! Rex, you fool, you lose - I win!

Shoving aside the Primavera-inspired confection (thank you Sandro)

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>