by Jude Frost

Created on: January 22, 2009

She was a friend, and that's how it started. It's not an uncommon occurrence for anybody of the LGBT community to fall for a heterosexual individual, and like myself, quite a few find themselves falling for a friend. I had just come out to my friends and I was met with rejection. It was heartbreaking knowing the friends I had come to love dearly couldn't find it in their hearts to love me back enough to look past my sexuality. They disowned me, so I picked up with my new life and made new friends. They were everything good friends should be: supporting, trustworthy, loyal, and not just tolerant but completely accepting. There was one girl in particular who embodied all of what I desired. She was outgoing, beautiful, and very much her own person. She wasn't afraid to stand up for what she believed in, she was everything I wasn't. She loved that I was gay and it made no difference to her, but one night I confessed that I liked her, and she was taken back. I waited for the words we all fret, the easy let down, and I could feel it coming like the calm sky before the storm. I had liked her for so long though, and I had managed not to tell anyone and it was heavy on my heart that I wasn't completely honest with her.

I patiently sat there and I could hear my heart beating, but there was no rejection. After talking with her she asked me out! I was living the fantasy, getting the girl we all wish we could have, the girl you thought was too good for you, and yet I had her. She was the longest relationship that I ever had, we lasted for three years. Although she was probably the worst relationship I have ever had, because of her I managed to grow into the person I should have been. Everything I liked about her were all the things I wish I could have seen in myself. I have become more independent, outgoing, unashamed, everything I should be and more. We all talk about gay pride but a lot of us treat it more as shame. I can honestly say I am proud of the person I am. I am living the life I always wished I could.

It certainly is hard falling for somebody who is heterosexual, but I hope you might find some inspiration in my story. Don't always be afraid, because their rejection will not kill you, a good friend will never hold it against you, if they do then they are not fit to be your friend. If you are led by fear how can you try anything new. This unfortunate situation turned out to be life changing, and it was exactly what I needed.

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