by Angelique Esqueda

Created on: January 22, 2009

I was born gay. You were born an alcoholic, and my best friend was born a murderer. Who were your friends when they were born? What am I talking about? I am talking about tendencies. Every one is born with certain tendencies, we are man with fallen nature and we all have the tendency to do wrong. As we get older, those tendencies either are strengthened or weakened by our environment. We are shaped and molded by our circumstances. And often these circumstances encourage us to go one way with our tendencies, or to go another way.

As adults it is so easy to say : "A" happened to me so I am justified in doing "B." Right? This way of thinking is easy. We can do "B," even though most likely "B" is something that is most likely morally wrong and justify it because we were mistreated, abused, raped, manipulated etc.. This is human nature, and it is sad, but doing wrong is easier than standing up and saying: Just because "A" happened to me, does not mean that I have to be a product of that, I do not have to give into "B."

This road, this standing up and saying : I will not be a product of "A" although it would be much easier, is a difficult path. Very difficult, after all it feels better to do whats wrong. Whats wrong is easier. It's easier to give into ourself, than to make ourself better, and indeed if we can muster it up to say this sentiment, than we can be better. Where do you think our motivational speakers came from?

These speakers and leaders are people that chose to rise above situation "A", and instead they chose "Z" the path that would make them better, stronger and the path less traveled. I can say this because that was me. I was the one in situation "A", and everything you can imagine did happen to me, and more. I'm not sobbing here, I have put that behind me, and for a moment I considered "B" But something in me told me I was better than that, and even though I felt used and worthless, I chose to believe that little tiny bit of me that thought I could be better.

Has taking "Z" been easy? HELL no. Somedays it's very difficult, somedays i want to give in to "B" but I know that the appeal that "B" has is completely superficial. It is a mask, a cover up and charade for the better thing, and that is why I continue to do "z" because I know when this battle is over, my reward will be great because I chose not to give up or give in. I chose to be better than my tendencies and my human nature.

Everyone has that choice, and some are stronger than others, but as an adult its up to you what you choose. You fill in "A" and you fill in "B" and you fill in the very difficult "Z" and you tell me what is the most rewarding, even though it is difficult, and for goodness sake, quit making excuses! Become who you really ought to be! There are people who need the better version of you! They deserve the better you, and so do you!

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