by Carolyn Paradis

Created on: January 22, 2009

When I was a child we only saw a few people with different colored skin. They were our neighbors across the river on the reserve, secluded and remote, for there was only a poorly maintained gravel road from the reserve into town, and no bridges nearby. They were mysterious, quiet people who kept to themselves, and we only got to know them when they came to school and shared the daily ride on the school bus. They'd get off near the river to be met by a rowboat which carried them back across the water to the small log homes along the shore. Over the years I was lucky enough to be invited into some of those homes, to listen to stories told by the elders, to share meals of bannock and smoked salmon, to watch the brave men fishing the wild river water with long poles, to smell the salmon smoking over fires of alder in the fishing camps.

I remember a customer at our family restaurant making jokes about "Chinamen" and how I felt such outrage at his remarks, without understanding why. I don't think my parents ever discussed the subject of race with any of us. Sixty years later, I remember and still feel that sense of disgust at the use of race as an epithet. Seeing my own sons grow up in an age when we are surrounded by ethnic diversity, and loving the fact that they both shared my early feelings, I sometimes wonder if we are born believing all people are equal, and have to be taught to hate.

When my oldest boy was two, I took him into the city and his first ride on an elevator. Just as the door closed, a very tall, very black man joined us. I almost held my breath as my little boy stared up at him, waiting for an awkward moment. Instead, he smiled and said, "Mommy, just like Sesame Street!" The man laughed and they shook hands.

Now I have a little granddaughter, four years old and full of curiosity about the world and its people. We have many conversations about race. I love being able to have influence on her thinking. She believes everything I tell her - and I know well that will change as she grows up. So I take advantage of her trust to teach her that we all live on a small, beautiful planet on an endless journey, and that we must share our earth as equals. That we all can learn from people from other countries. That our skin is only a thin covering, and that our hearts are all the same.

As I watched the inauguration two days ago, and rejoiced with all the world at the changes the new President will make, I dare to hope the day will come soon when we won't have to teach our children not to hate.

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