by Lara Lawrence

Created on: January 22, 2009   Last Updated: November 17, 2011

Trust is a fragile thing. Trust between a parent and child is especially so. Our children are born with the innate instinct to trust us. It is vital that we keep that trust as they grow older. If our children do not trust us, they will not respect us. If they do not respect us, they will not listen to us, and if they will not listen to us, we cannot help them as they grow up.

Forgiveness is one of the most important ways we can establish trust. So, how is it important and what can we do to strengthen that trust?

1. Forgiveness demonstrates unconditional love and acceptance

Everyone makes mistakes. Children, especially, are prone to making them. It is just a part of learning and growing up. We have the ability to foster self-confidence and self-esteem in our children by showing them that they are worthy of our love and forgiveness. We can teach them that even though they make mistakes, we love them unconditionally, which gives them the confidence they need to try again. They need to know without a doubt that our forgiveness will be there for them.

2. Children will model what they see

Nothing will damage trust between a parent and child faster than when they see us say one thing and do another. Children learn what we teach them through our own actions, even more so than through our words. We need to be forgiving people, and let our children see that in us. When they see us respond to wrongdoings with mercy and compassion, they will do the same. When our children model our behavior, they are actually placing their faith in us, trusting that we have taught them the proper way to behave.

3. We need to admit our own failures and ask our children for forgiveness

If our children see us humble ourselves enough to admit when we are wrong, they will trust that we really do know the difference between right and wrong. They will trust us so much more during those times when we have to tell them that they have done wrong. They will also forgive us because that is what they have been taught. It gives them the opportunity to grant us forgiveness, reinforcing that trust.

4. Children will come to us with their problems

If our children place their trust in us, they will come to us when they have a problem. Even if they have done something they know we will be unhappy about, they will not be afraid of the consequences enough to keep it from us. They will confide in us, knowing that our love is unconditional and they will be forgiven. It will put us in a much better position to help them deal with difficult situations as they grow up.

Forgiveness is so very important to the trust shared between a parent and child. By forgiving our children when they do wrong, we are telling them that we understand they are not perfect, and we love them unconditionally. By admitting when we are wrong, we let them know that we are just like them, giving them the opportunity to forgive us. We communicate to them that they are worthy of our love and respect and they will, in turn, love and respect us. It creates a bond of mutual trust that will endure throughout our lifetimes.

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