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Was "NO", your child's first word? Ever wonder why? For years I resisted having children. When I finally decided I wanted to be a parent, I made some goals. One of them is that I would not give my children the "NO" command. I had heard enough toddlers tell their parents "NO" whatever the question was. I never wanted to hear such negativity from a wee child. I reasoned that children use that word so often because they hear it so often. I resolved I would not use the word as a command. This was not easy!

When I read an article encouraging spanking, a parent talked about physically punishing his older children and using the "NO" command for his toddler. He reasoned the youngest doesn't understand spanking yet. Eventually the tyke will learn, "Don't get caught by Dad!"

When my daughter was very young, before she could walk, I remember taking her around the house explaining things to her. Pictures on the wall, the TV, everything. I talked to her as though she understood every word. I kept this habit. I have always spoken to my children as though they are my equals. I used simple speech, never "baby talk".

While I can't say exactly why some things worked or didn't, I believe this practice helped my children become early speakers and the excellent communicators they are today. They didn't go through the "NO" phase I dreaded. They also became patient teachers of their peers and leaders in scouts and school.

Certainly I could not claim that my infant children understood the explanations I gave them as to why not to touch the stove or how the TV worked, but it did create the relationship of respect we have today. It helped me learn to share my life with these amazing strangers and set the tone for listening and learning.

Learn more about this author, Ron Erb.
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