by Jennifer Jacquet

Created on: January 22, 2009

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
But the ground is frozen brown
And the stars have all gone dark
And a warm breeze is blowing.

I'll be home for Christmas
But my father won't be there
And someone else is in his place
And i can't wait to get out.

This will be a Christmas to remember
With Mommom in the hospital
And three fewer marriages
And a whole new set of headaches - er - children.

Christmas can't be very far away
I can tell, because stress levels
Are through the roof tonight
And everyone is broke and testy.

O silent, holy night
I wish i could sleep
But i'm tossing and turning
Reviewing my shopping list.

The first 'noel' was probably
The last true one
It didn't take long for Santa
And Rudolph to enter the scene.

God rest ye, merry gentlemen
But not till after January
'Cuz there are still parties to attend
And we'll be paying these bills till October.

All I want for Christmas is you
And my two front teeth
And maybe speakers for the car
And i could really use a new coat . . .

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
With your children in matching outfits
And your store-wrapped presents
And your perfect, soul-less home.

It came upon a midnight clear
And it hasn't gone away since
What a stupid holiday:
It's main purpose seems to be
Heartache and stress.

Ho ho ho.

Bah humbug.

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