by Robert Spalding

Created on: January 22, 2009

Most people hate going to job interviews, I hate giving them. Don't get me wrong they serve their purpose but the fact of the matter is in the restaurant business you are constantly doing interviews. As soon as you have your kitchen staffed seven servers quit to go work at the new T.G.I.Friday's opening down the street, never mind that I know they'll come begging for their jobs back I need to replace those people now. As soon as I've covered them, with twice as many people to cover the lack of experience, I need four new hosts because I promoted a couple and lost the ones who thought they deserved to be promoted. By the time they're replaced I'm short on cook again. It's a vicious circle I tell you.

After having done so many interviews I have them down to an art form, almost scripted. Sometimes it's hard sounding like I'm not just reading a script and sometimes it's really hard to remember one candidate from the next. On one occasion, though, the problem was staying awake, although at least by being so boring she set herself apart in my mind.

I had set this particular young lady up for an interview for a server position on the recommendation of her friend, one of my better employees. She arrived promptly for the interview, a good start, I will not interview someone who shows up late by more than three minutes. I introduced myself as I lead her to a quiet table near the bar.

"Please, have a seat." I said as I gestured to a chair.

"Thump." She threw herself into the chair like a ton of bricks dropping from the roof.

"I'm going to grab a coffee, can I get you anything?" This tactic usually relaxes the candidate and helps to make a bit of a connection.

"I don't drink anything with caffeine." She said morosely. "and I don't recommend you do either."

I waited for the grin or giggle to tell me she was kidding and not honestly this devoid of pep. I don't care whether you drink caffeine or not, have some life!

I returned with my coffee, extra large, and she was off at the bar talking to her friend.

"Please?" I said politely.

She snorted and again threw herself at the chair, almost missing this time.

"Don't worry this is a painless process, it's not like you're going to the dentist." I again tried to put her at ease and again she snorted at me.

"OOOKay then, how about you tell me about yourself a little bit."

Shrug. "Like what?"

"Like, have where did you work last or what makes you a good server."

"I dunno."

By this point my decision was made, friend of my top employee or not but I'm stubborn and decided to see if I could get one real answer out of her.

"Why don't you tell me something funny that happened to you recently."

Another shrug.

"Nothing?"

Shrug.

"Nothing funny has ever happened to you?"

"Are you going to hire me?"

"Not if nothing funny ever happens in your life."

"Okay."

"Well, since your don't want to answer that why don't you tell me what you think your strength is as a server." I was hoping she'd say she was extremely efficient or fast or smart or something.

"My personality."

Wait for the beat. Sigh, no beat, she's serious.

"How so?"

"Well everyone says I'm so nice, my nickname is Giggles after all."

"Well, okay "Giggles" I'll give you a call I have a couple other interviews later." Lying through my teeth.

"Okay"

So she got up and shuffled her way off much like a tree sloth crossing the road only with worse posture.

"Did you hire her?" Her friend asked me immediately.

"We'll see." I said, she knew what that meant. "Tell me why in the hell do you call her Giggles?"

"Because she never stops laughing." Was the very matter of fact answer.

How could I have missed that?

Learn more about this author, Robert Spalding.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.