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Always on the go, a single parent often neglects their most valuable and important resource...themselves. Whether the other parent is active in the child or children's life, it is still an undertaking for any single mother or father to man the fort alone. Raising children, working, and juggling the financial's of life make factoring in a personal life almost impossible. But, as a single parent, it makes taking care of yourself first all that more important.

Living a healthy and balanced life will not only make you feel more confident and in control, it will also reflect towards your children. Not only will they see a strong and indepedent single mom or dad, they will define these qualities in themselves and grow to be strong independent parents themselves.

Time...learn to grow it. Just as you would build up to an exercise routine, learning to spend time on yourself is not always as easy as it sounds. The constant demands of everyday life and hurdles along the way, guilt, and just the habit of not spending time on yourself, take a while to get past. Finding five minutes or so a day to spend on yourself and then learning to stretch it a bit at a time will gradually take you from a five minute breather to a stress free hour. Just an evening a week, to stay in and be "off duty" can decrease stress levels enough to take on another round of parenthood waiting around the corner.

Get past the past. At some point or another, you probably had another parent in the picture, and hopefully, a helpful one. It is frustrating and bitter to feel alone tackling many of the parenting obstacles on a daily basis. Wishing for another hand is to be expected and not having it around can even be depressing. Most parents expect to raise a family, or wish to, and facing parenthood alone may not have been part of the plan. Even a willing single parent understands the benefit of another adult not only for help but for companionship. Give yourself time to "grieve" this loss and move forward at your own pace. If, after some time, you don't get on your own feet and into the swing of things, reach out for assistance or seek counseling to help you along the way.

Take back your space. Most children tend to take over their known territory and that usually includes everything under the roof. After divorce or during periods of single parenting, children and their parents tend to become closer and develop new relationships with each other in their new environments. This is a wonderful thing but retaining some private space is important, too. Not only do you need a "safe zone" in your house, maybe the master bedroom, that is off limits to your children, you also need a spot to claim as your own personal space. Your children can respect your space and in return, have the same respect in their own rooms.

Move forward in the right direction. Being a single parent is hard on many levels but not impossible. Many single parents work hard, go to school, and raise their children, while working with the other parent, too. Staying involved and finding positive things to involve yourself with will not only keep you on the right track, it will open the door to new possibilities and future opportunities to meet other people you could be interested in.

Being a single parent is a challenge, but as most parents would agree, parenting is always a challenge within itself. It is one of the few, though, worth being risked time and time again. Being a good parent means taking care of yourself first, finding time for others as well, and having a network of friends and family to lean on through the tougher times. Children get their parents through the rest.

Learn more about this author, K.C. Jean Kellam.
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