by Edyta Tehrani

Created on: January 22, 2009   Last Updated: January 04, 2011

The best way to get a defiant child to do homework is to find out why he is defiant. Simple laziness is not  always the real reason why children resist doing their homework. Pushing  the child to do it against his will is not going to change anything, though lack of discipline could be an issue as well. Children can resist doing homework when it  is too hard, or too easy for them. It might  also be a strategy to get the attention from one or both parents. There also could be issues of conflict with the teacher. Whatever the case, it is important that parents find out the real reason  behind defiance and try to solve it.

All children initially have a natural curiosity and desire to learn, however, they might lose it if their individual educational needs are not met. Not all children learn at the same pace and the teachers often are not accommodating children in this respect.

When the child has certain areas of weakness in which he cannot keep the pace with the rest of the class, he will be most likely left behind. This creates deep frustration and feeling of failure. Additionally, if his parents strongly pressure him to bring high grades, it greatly adds to stress  the child is already dealing with and he gives up altogether by refusing to do his homework, or even  by trying  to skip classes. Therefore it is important that you as a parent keep the lines of communication open.

Talk to the child and to his teacher in order to find out what is really going on. Many children struggle with some learning disabilities, so a  test and counseling session with an educational psychologist might also help to pin point the problem.If your child struggles because of learning disability it does not mean that your child is not intelligent . There are many gifted and highly intelligent children who also have learning or cognitive disorders, such as dyslexia. A child like this can be gifted in math, but having struggles with reading and spelling. Not many people in general public, and even the teachers understand disorders like dyslexia. Children who struggle with it might be treated as "lazy" or "careless" by teachers, and be called "dummies" by other children. That is why diagnosing it might greatly help also to boost the child's self esteem, and find needed support from the teacher.

 At the other hand there are  children who learn at much faster pace than most peers and

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